The Good, The Sad and the Pissy

10 THINGS THAT ROYALLY PISS ME OFF

1. People online that only send those lazy mass messages to everyone on their friend's list, thinking that somehow "counts" as conversation or is appealing to be included in a mass cattle call with a generic message. One observation, the gender that does this the most is the male. Heaven forbid you actually send real messages to a specific person, rather than seeing who you might get to "bite" on the impersonal ones. At least if you choose to do that, have the sense to check the box to hide everyone else's name from each other. *rolling my eyes*

2. When friends are hurt or played by others using pretty words to get what they want from them, then the player moves on to the next person without any thought of the pain or doubt they've caused along the way.

3. Paying over 100 dollars a month for Cable or Satellite TV, and still not have anything to watch on hundreds of channels other than reruns of movies made back in the 80's that weren't very good to begin with.

4. People that don't even start to write their check or get their 1000's of coupons ready while in a long line...then stand there asking millions of stupid questions that should be common sense or make the poor bagboys go run endless price checks over a penny difference in price.

5. Drivers who stay in the wrong lane deliberately in hopes of getting a couple of cars ahead in traffic, then will sit and block BOTH lanes in an effort to force themselves into the lane they should have stayed in to begin with.

6. People that ask on your birthday...well, how does it feel to be "X" years older? Ummmm...about the same as it did this time yesterday.

7. Trying to get into just about ANY product these days without slashing a vein in the process from the packaging. When I have to haul out screwdrivers, wire cutters and other assorted power tools to get into things I've bought, it's a tad frustrating. Add to that, when I DO get into said purchase, I have to HUNT to find the instructions in ENGLISH. (do NOT even get me started on this..Can we say English IS our national language, learn it or leave?) Oh, and even when you've paid for something and you STILL set off the alarms leaving the store.

8. Having to show my ID, birth certificate, first born AND provide a DNA sample so I can buy decongestant so my nose doesn't run during a cold or allergy season. Heaven forbid, I try to take advantage of the sale price and buy TWO boxes within a week!! Lord knows, that is grounds to be fingerprinted and hauled off to jail!

9. Those little stickers they put on fruit and veggies. Trying to peel those suckers off is at times like trying to pry off something they've welded in place. I have an idea...how about the cashiers actually learn what the produce looks like?

10. Adults, who in middle age, still can't manage to handle a new relationship or full of passion with any common sense and without taking into account their partner's feelings. Ones that close off and take the easy route over taking a chance just because someone will challenge and make them grow, rather than stay in a rut that was unsatisfying in many ways for many years. Not even giving someone a true chance to see what might happen.

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10 THINGS THAT MAKE ME SAD

1. Goodbyes. Not the ones where you know you'll see or hear from that person again...but the ones that are final. (I'm not great at the temporary ones either, I'm too soft-hearted...but can handle those)

2. Seeing an unloved or neglected child. Some children live in big houses with everything they want...but attention and/or love from their parents.

3. Being lied to when I've let someone close. While I'm friendly, open and outspoken to just about everyone I meet...there are few that I truly trust completely enough with my entire being. If and when I take the time to let someone in and they turn their back or ignore out of fear of change all the things shared...it hurts and makes me withdraw inside myself again. Each time a little more of me dies and a little more of my faith in possibilities is gone. I become more closed off and jaded.

4. Seeing someone with an illness from which there is no cure. Bad things do indeed happen to good people at times and there is no rhyme or reason. Along with the sadness and frustration at not being able to "fix" it, is usually also such wonder and respect for the grace and charm and courage of those that live with the physical challenges and pain.

5. Lack of physical contact with someone special. No, not only sex...but that connection with someone that is not only your lover to laugh and joke with...but the connection with a best friend that literally knows you inside out and not being able to share that affection and intimacy of spirit anymore...passionate promises that don't have to have intent, but are merely to show love.

6. If my children are struggling or hurting...emotionally or physically. There is nothing worse than standing by and knowing you have to let them make their own mistakes and learn some lessons on their own, and seeing the pain that some of their choices can cause.

7. Cruelty just for the sake of meanness. There are an increasing number of people in the world that are out for number one and don't care what they have to do or who they have to hurt to get what they want. There has been a fair amount of this happening online lately.

8. Not having the time or means at times to do some of the things important to me or that I want immediately when I want them. I'm comfortable...have all the things I really need though...so this is mostly impatience or frustration. The sad passes quickly. Waiting builds character and things usually work out as they should...good or bad. Sometimes when I do get what I want, and then I wish I hadn't!

9. Lack of manners or class. Today's world is losing a vital component to life. Being polite or helping someone is becoming a lost art. Everyone is in such a hurry that it's easier to be inconsiderate and out for number one, than to take the time to smile and perhaps make someone else's day....to give a compliment for work well done or hold a door open. Manners and class are NOT dependant on income, they are dependant on being a good human being and having a heart and soul...on good upbringing. I know many people with wealth that have no soul or class, and many that struggle through life working more than one job that are a step above us all in the way they live their life.

10. Too much Political Correctness and the inability to accept responsibility for our own actions or just ignore what bugs you. We are not doing our society any favors by raising a generation of children that cannot just turn the other cheek without retaliation or retribution, even for the smallest offenses. We are quickly becoming a society of people that cannot or will not turn the other cheek or just simply let something pass without argument.

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Okay...NOW on to my Happy Things...

10 THINGS THAT MAKE ME SMILE, LAUGH, FEEL SUNSHINE IN MY SOUL...AND HAPPY

1. My family. Hands down, no question...number one. Growing up, I always KNEW I wanted to be a Mom. I never cared about a career, didn't need success or acclaim to validate me...I did know I needed and wanted children....and I got three great ones. Now granted, they make me nuts at times...but I NEVER wish my life had taken a different turn in this area. My family also includes my parents and sister and now her family. THEY are all the most important thing in my life and the ONLY thing I couldn't exist without.

2. Teaching. I adore making a difference in children's lives...and know that I do make that difference each and every day I'm in the classroom. When a child's face lights up even after you've taken 5 minutes away of their play time the day before, JUST to see you in the hall and they run up to hug you...you know you've done something right. To hear a child read a sentence or sound out a word for the first time and KNOW you turned that light bulb on...it's priceless.

3. Unexpected Friends. I've always been a bit of a loner. I love to have friends, but am also comfortable on my own if need be. As I said above, I don't let people close to me lightly or quickly...let people see me totally uncensored and unrestricted...but the past year I have found a several people that have surprised me and made my spirit smile. Some are on here, some at school...and all are very special and now my friends. I look forward to more unexpected surprises.

4. Life. It's amazing really...just the act of being alive...it's such a precious gift, each second is priceless. So many take it for granted as if it's guaranteed to each of us. It's not...and if you waste any of it...don't experience each and everything you can...the good and the bad, you haven't really lived.

5. Learning in any form. I crave knowledge and learning new things each day just makes me happy. It means that you're still growing and not merely existing and taking up space.

6. Naps. This is a new one in the past 2 or 3 years. I've finally come to appreciate the beauty of a good nap. I don't sleep well at night (I think because I don't like sleeping alone and can't turn my brain off), so a good nap is sometimes needed to recharge me for the rest of the day. Now...I'd prefer a SHARED naptime...even if it meant a lot less sleep..but then I'd REALLY be smiling!

7. A hot tub on the deck of an isolated cabin in the mountains with a great view. Spending a lazy week or weekend with no plans (and possibly no clothes), but plenty available to do if wanted...then retreating back to a private paradise. The Pigeon Forge/Wears Valley area up in TN is one of my favorite places in the world...along with the North Georgia mountains. It's been too long since I got away for a few days.

8. Summertime and all it entails. Fresh strawberries and whipped cream. Tomato sandwiches made with homegrown 'maters from my garden. Late nights and late mornings. Laying out in the pool under the stars. No schedule to speak of on many days.

9. Making someone smile that wasn't smiling when I first see them. Many of my long time friends on here have heard me say this before...I love to take the time to share a smile with people that I will never see again. To take the time to ask how their day is or how they are and really LISTEN to their answer and let them know I actually want to hear. To take the extra minute or two to give a compliment when someone has done a good job or been helpful. To listen to a child that no one else is even noticing and make them feel important. I will even track down managers in stores or restaurants if someone has really touched me with something they've done or their attitude. It costs nothing but my time, but means so much.

10. A song on the radio that brings back memories. To suddenly hear a song that takes you back to a time in your life, fun or painful...and you find yourself right back in the moment...the emotions, the feel, even the sights, smell or sounds. To hear a new song that you KNOW is going to be one of those future important songs that marks a time in your life one day and makes you feel alive and want to sing and dance along...although this can bring on sadness as well.

Where Are The Hair Clippers & Duct Tape When We Need Them?

Where Are The Hair Clippers & Duct Tape When We Need Them?

I was just watching an interview with the morons that closed down Boston yesterday. I'm using the word "morons" generously as I watch them "perform" for the cameras. They are flip, disrespectful and totally unrepentant that their idiocy put an entire city's emergency resources on high alert for the entire day...not to mention inconvienced and put in danger all the daily commuters as highways, mass transit and waterways were completely shut down. Trust me, the one with the dreadlocks better thank his lucky stars that I'm not his Mom..of course if I WERE his Mother, he wouldn't have gotten to this point and be so extreme in his actions, thoughts or looks. Heck, I threaten to cut my son's hair while he sleeps if he doesn't get regular haircuts that make him at least look human. Self-expression is one thing, while being totally irresponsible and looking like a throw rug, is another.

(If you missed their "perfomance", here is a link to the video...Click Here)

WHAT is wrong with some of the youth today? These are the people we are going to have to count on one day to keep us safe, to run our country. Now admittedly, some of our contemporaries at times drop the ball, BUT they often err on the side of trying to be too responsible, to do too much rather than doing nothing at all and leaving everything to fate and a Ouija board/Magic 8 ball.

I have great respect and hope for a lot of our youth. I see so many bright minds, so much potential in many bright faces going through the school systems. On the other hand however, I also see way too many that have absolutely no direction in life...no respect for anything or anyone. I grew up in the 60's and 70's so I know that many of our generation that began their lives as flower children or in a different era managed to pull it all together and grow into adults with purpose. What I'm seeing from a lot of young people today, is not the same. The world today is regrettably different. It's a more serious place..it's truthfully a meaner and more intense place. The dangers in the world today are more widespread and more focused.

I watched the events yesterday develop through the hours at a time in our lives where we have to be more vigilant for our safety, for the safety of our loved ones...and even though it started to unfold as someone thumbing their nose at the system....it still could not be ignored. The statement that we have to be right all the time, while a potential terrorist only has to be right once, is so true. I wish to holy hell it wasn't, but those are the cards we have been dealt and there is no going back. I'm sure that wrecks with injuries had to wait much longer for a response time as well as other valid 911 calls for people in need as the city was for the most part shutdown in the name of caution while safety was guaranteed in what turned out to thankfully be numerous cases of hoax and pretense.

Perhaps I'm a little more sensitive than most to some of this. Between being in the classroom and the training I've had to receive over the past few years to be in the air (and frankly courage somedays to board some of the planes), I will admit I have almost ZERO patience for pranks or flippancy where safety is concerned. I realized this morning that in some ways I'm turning into my parents, and at the same time also realized, I'm thanking my lucky stars they instilled a lot of this in me. The old fashioned qualities of responsibility, of country and self...all qualities I've tried to make sure that my children have. My children are far from perfect. They have mouths and opinions (and have inherited those qualities honestly from me)...BUT they have a love of country...a love of family...and manners and respect at their core, where it matters and will emerge fully one day.

So, these boys need to be put under a jail...not be on TV getting their 15 minutes of fame acting like fools. What they did was serious and dangerous, not to mention stupid and totally irresponsible. The youth of today needs to realize they have the complete and total freedom to act or say what they want...as long as they also accept the knowledge that by doing so, there are consequences...sometimes very severe ones that are not able to be wiggled out of by being cute and flip. Life carries responsibility for yourself and for others. It is not a world where the only one your actions impact is your own life. Life is like ripples in a pond...something small radiates out from the middle and sometimes, depending on the initial impact...can have a major effect in what occurs in the end.

On a day where a veteran from the Iraqi war that lost both legs is being recognized for his service and given a chance to run his own business due the the good heart of the Little Caesar's founder...this drivel takes over the news. Our priorities have gone to to hell in a handbasket.

Ruminations, Reflections, and Random Reckonings

Ruminations, Reflections and Random Reckonings

Warning: The blog today is a freestyle walkthrough of my brain...enter at your own risk! Last chance to exit this ride. Please keep feet and arms inside the blog at all times.

Go ahead and bury James Brown for goodness sake! I know he's the Godfather of Soul, but enough is enough. Keeping him on ice in his living room for weeks on end is just creepy. He's not going to come back to life, sit up and scream "I feel good" and change the will. Let him rest in peace (not in the house). It's bad enough that Ted Williams head is still frozen while his body is buried. What is WRONG with some of these people?? Beam me up Scotty!

ALERT!!! This just in!! People in the New Jersey area beware! There is a squirrel eating advisory out. If you're going to eat your squirrels, make SURE from now on, you keep your consumption to no more than TWO of the little rodents a week! It seems they may have become just a tad radioactive or full of lead, so unless you practice a little restraint...you could end up glowing in the dark! (First the Garden State is accused of stinking up Manhattan, NOW this squirrel thingy...I'm thinking it's a conspiracy or terrorist plot!) Always remember to cook your squirrel thoroughly before eating.

Okay, ENOUGH with the stupid NutriSystem commercials or the "Man Plan" weight loss crap. Now, I know that January is the month to try and guilt everyone into their resolution to lose weight, but give us a freakin' break! This year's advertising campaigns are seriously stepping on my last nerve. I'm all for men losing weight right along with us females...equal opportunity and all..BUT have you noticed the basic underlying theme to the male commercials is "lose weight, have more sex!" ...and swear, if I have to hear John Kruk say one more time the idiotic line .."My wife says I'm not AS disgusting anymore" I'm going to throw my TV through a window...get real, I'm sure if you're a man and have earned the label of being "disgusting" from a spouse, it's for a lot more than just your weight. Also that perky cheerleader from hell proclaiming "This is a size TWO!!" with that demonically overly-happy giggle would have to die if she lived in my neighborhood.

*********Deep Breath Time***********

Continuing on now...

If you live in the frigid north today, you're earning your tagline today. Yankee males should not go near metal poles, especially if you're a little ummmm...excited today. You'd hate to have any protrusions (or your pole) get frozen TO a pole...it could be a little painful to pry off. The alternative is to stand there until you thaw out or get a helping hand to warm things up.

Sing with me..."How many times must a man lose the race, before he decides he shouldn't run??" I see that Al Sharpton is yet again considering running for President. Oh well, with the 4000 people that have already formed exploratory committees, I'm expecting Pee-Wee Herman to announce any day now too.

A scientist in NC has just developed a Caffeinated Doughnut and a way to add caffeine to baked goods in general! Do we REALLY need people more wired up than they already are? Great, so in rush hour now...people can eat their caffeine deep fried with chocolate on top, have their washtub size full cup of Starbucks coffee to wash it down...all while talking on the cell phone and trying to change lanes! Does anyone but me see that this might be a little bit of a potential problem? Is it any wonder that no one can sleep through the night anymore without the help of sleeping aids? (Ummmm...give me an old fashioned round of hot sweaty sex, and I'll sleep just fine without any chemical inducements...call me a rebel! *wink*)

In closing...let us all take a moment of silence to show our support for Mozart. Not the composer, the iguana. It seems that Mozart (the reptile) has had an erection that has lasted for a full week. He's scheduled to go under the knife sometime in the next couple of days to have his teeny weeny penis amputated. (Ouch!) This is the only solution they can "cum" up with to relieve the problem (hmmmmmm...a lot of men I know would be putting up a billboard bragging about this "problem"). While it seems a "tad" extreme to me...all is not lost. It seems that Male Iguanas have not one, but TWO penises...a primary and a back-up (that could cum in "handy" for threesomes I'd suppose). SO, Mozart will still be able to make whoopie. *whew!*

Mozart, btw...sitting on the shoulders of his keeper as camera crews focused on his red, swollen erection, seemed unperturbed by the news.

"It doesn't bother him. He doesn't know what amputation means," said vet Luc Lambrecht, adding that Mozart's sexual activity should be undimmed by the operation.

*rolling my eyes* What a relief!! I'm SO glad a lizard hasn't figured out what amputation means yet.

Readin', Writin', and Rantin'

READIN', WRITIN' AND RANTIN'
(A TRIP INTO THE

EDUCATIONAL

TWILIGHT ZONE)

Imagine if you will, a roomful of 25+ assorted people all somewhere under the age of 10. It's early in the morning, there are no video games available to keep them mesmerized/occupied and they are all trying to either tattle, tinkle, or talk at the same time. As this picture starts to play in your head, know that you are going to be confined in this room for the next 8 hours with these same little bundles of energy and distraction...unable to even run across the hall to pee for 30 seconds, lest you leave them unattended that long, there is no reprieve for mental health (for yourself). Add to that, several will bounce in and out randomly all day for their specialized programs such as speech, inclusion, EIP classes or hearing and vision testing....and you start to have a little peek into the day of a teacher.

Anyone that has been acquainted with me for any length of time on here, already knows that I have two professions that I juggle. Both are important to me, both are what I consider vital jobs. The profession of flight attendant, especially after 9/11, has become a needed job where trained professionals have to be willing to literally risk their lives, sometimes at the hands of everyday passengers furious over throwing away their shampoo, to help ensure the safety of the traveling public. The days of "glamor", if they ever existed for stewardesses, is long gone. We now have to wear several hats, in what is often a thankless, but necessary job. I still love it for many reasons. I feel as if I make a difference in my own way.
The profession that is my heart though, is the one of schoolteacher. I taught school fulltime for many years. When I took a leave of absence of a few years to raise my children to school age, I always missed the classroom...but in true Kat fashion...when I went back to work, I went into something completely different. As much as I loved what I was doing, teaching always pulled at my heart. A few years ago, I made the decision to do both and went back into the classroom as a substitute teacher.

Gradually, I've been pulled back in deeper and deeper to the point of working in the schools on an almost fulltime basis. I find it fuels my soul, even when it's exhausting me. Recently, I've been offered a job that would force the decision to finally stop flying and go back into the classroom. Even though I've been battling it for years, I'm starting to think it may be time, especially given the changes I see coming full steam ahead in my life.
Like most of you, I've seen both sides of the coin. I'm a parent and am rabid about sticking up for my children, guiding them...going to bat for them when needed in their school lives. As a teacher, I see many things that most of you can't imagine during the course of a normal day. Some things that would warm your heart...some things that would chill your soul to know our society has progressed to this point and that our children are suffering the damage. I want to give you a little peek into the thoughts of someone that is trusted with guiding young lives.

Are teachers perfect? Oh heck no! For the most part, we are all feisty and outspoken...opinionated. We have strong personalities. We are often rabid and have tunnel vision when it comes to wanting the best for one of "our" kids. Just as in the business or retail world...there are those that do not belong in the classroom, that are only there to collect a paycheck and it shows. The majority are there though, because they love what they are doing. They have a passion in their hearts for helping a child realize his or her potential...for seeing that young life turn into something so vital. We care, we want to make a difference and do just that. Trust me, you have to love what you're doing or you don't last. The ones I mentioned above? The paycheck seekers? Most of them end up washing out...it is not a profession for the weak or meek.

Imagine your children when they are being told at home to do something they might not want to do, like clean their room. Can you see the eye rolls and hear the sighs or outright defiance? Keep that thought in your head and multiply it by 25 (and thank a teacher that you know HOW to multiply! :P). Add to that, some parents actually tell their children, they don't have to do what a teacher says, only their parents. (I don't think so!) Kids come into the classrooms each and every morning with 25+ different personalities. Some are tired, some are wired...some quiet...some ready to kill each other. A good majority of them have to eat breakfast at school. Some didn't get enough sleep at night or have been sent to school sick and are whiny. All of this has to be sorted out before the bell rings for the day to begin. They are all talking to you at once...yet you hear it all, delegate and sort it out. Some just need a hug or to have someone listen to them, since no one at home makes the time to do so.

The day begins and you jump right into work. Even in Kindergarten classes nowdays, there are a myriad of lessons to be learned, a fast paced schedule to get through..while actually making sure the children are retaining what you're trying to engage their minds around. Some days are easier than others...some days you feel as if you're slogging through mud. While you're teaching, you might be having announcements interrupting...kids going in and out of classes to specialized lessons or ESOL classes (for the non-English speaking students, don't even get me started on that one)...and the assorted fire drills or now the lovely school lock down drills that absolutely terrorize Elementary school children, but are necessary. For a couple of months a year, we are now required to teach them how to take a standarized series of tests that many of us disagree with in the pressure it puts on the children, not to mention they try to measure a year's worth of learning in one fell swoop...remember how "valid" those lovely SAT's were in measuring true knowledge, especially for those that don't test well?

The classroom I was in today (a 1st grade class), has the first 2 1/2 hours of the school day without a break...only work. There are no video games to babysit the kids when the teacher gets tired. It's all YOU and finding ways to capture their imagination..when it clicks, there is nothing like it. The look of wonder on the face of a child that "gets" it, is priceless. There are days where it's like beating your head against a wall though. Then at 10:32, it's time for lunch...yes, LUNCH...whether you're hungry or not. You better be there right at 10:32...not 10:30, not 10:35...or the end of the world is near. We're trying to feed 1200 kids and if the schedule is thrown off, life as we know it ends.

After lunch, this class has a 15 minute recess. By the time we hike out to the playground, it's almost time to round them up to come in...don't even talk to me about getting them all in coats they don't want to wear or the kids that show up in shorts with no coats in 20 degree weather. Back to class, more lessons. An hour or hour and a half later...it's time for specials (PE, Art, Music, or Computer), for 45 minutes. Then back to class for a last lesson in Social Studies or Science. The last 10 minutes is spent in a frantic dance of packing up to go home. Loading backpacks with work already done and more work to be done for homework...making sure they have their heads attached and double checking to see how they are all getting home when parents forget to send a note about changes in transportation...making sure notes are sent home for parents not to read half the time. The bell rings and chaos ensues for the next 15 minutes while we make SURE that all the children are safe and headed where they need to go.

After the school starts to slow down, the announcements come on from the office letting us know of meetings or duties to be done. There are stacks of papers to review and correct. The room, even when the kids clean it up...still has to be rebuilt to a degree every afternoon. Morning work has to be put out for the next day. Parents calls have to be returned, notes written...reports done to ensure there is a paper trail for any actions that have been taken in the interest of the children.

So yes...the next person that tells me teachers have it made will get an earful as usual. The next person that tells me how lucky we are to get two weeks at Christmas and the summer off, needs to stop to think. (btw...someone has to teach summer school..and with the influx of new federal testing, summer school is decidedly crowded these days). Yes..the next person I see totally disrespect those in education without having an iota of what a typical day is like in a classroom or school...much less the un-typical day...when they themselves would not be caught DEAD in a classroom for days on end with a classroom full of children...are the same ones that fuss, whine and complain about having their own children get on their nerves at home if they are bored...will hear from me. DO stay interactive in your child's education...and if something is truly wrong..make noise, get them help if they are in trouble with their learning process. Just make sure the noise is warranted, a real problem and not just incompatibility of personalities. Children need to learn that in life, there will be many people they have to learn to work with...to adapt. It too, is one of life's lessons. I know the education system is not perfect and parts of it are purely flawed...at times it frustrates the hell out of me too, both as a parent and a teacher, but it's what we have for now unless we all plan to homeschool our children. (not me, let someone else teach MY angels! :P)

Teachers are not perfect. We are mouthy. We are stubborn...we are made of stern stuff, but for the most part...we love what we do. We are dedicated. We ARE passionate. We ARE in the trenches...and trust me, with the way education and society is going these days, it's not easy most days. We have to be counselors, ambassadors, referrees, moms, nurturers, politicians, cheerleaders and still manage to teach...both lessons in education and in life.

The next time you're calling one an idiot or complaining, stop to think if YOU'D want to be the one in that classroom every single day...stop to think if you COULD be the one to do that job and how important it is. It's easy to find fault...to constantly focus on only your needs or complaints. I know that some people have horror stories about situations your children might have had...my kids have had a teacher or two along the way I would have cheerfully strangled. I know how horrible that is when it's your child and I feel for anyone that's had that situation.

Just remember the good educators far outweigh the bad ones. Try to remember that we deal with not only the distinct personalities of the children, but have to soothe or reassure 1200 sets of parents (or guardians, grandparents, partners...the family unit has changed). We deal with custody issues and criminal ones. We also have our own lives and our own children or concerns. There are days we are exhausted and rundown...mentally at the end of our rope, yet we go into the classroom and put on our happy face for those 8 hours and often bring work home. Teachers do the best we can, and most days...that's pretty darned good. We care...we love...we guide...we teach.

We make a difference. I wouldn't trade it for the world.




***I saw someone call an educator an idiot today...it fired me up, obviously. Now, while she may indeed be an idiot, when you don't see the other side and are only basing your opinion on gossip from other parents (many who have agendas or get on the mob mentality bandwagon)...when you've only seen a small slice of what might have been a tough Monday for her, and was at least a very LONG day for her...it puts me on my soapbox. *smiling sweetly*

My 10 Commandments of Blogging (Or Thou Shalt Not Be a Sleeze)

My 10 Commandments of Blogging

1. Thou shalt not whine, b*tch, gripe, complain or try to guilt "friends" into liking you or constantly complain about your general lack of attention in blogs, blasts and quick comments. It's reminicient of the old childhood ditty of "No one likes me, everyone hates me...I'm going to the garden to eat worms" and completely irritating. Mmmmmmmm'kay...go right ahead, protein is good for you.

2. Thou shalt not send private messages (even the very nice and humorous ones) and then leave people absolutely NO way to answer you. If your options are set to receive messages from people on your friend's list only, your quick comments on your page are not accessible for anyone but friends (and you only have one friend on your page in the first place), and/or your yahoo ID is not listed so that someone can send you an email or messenger answer...that's a HUGE problem and frustrating! You should not send message after message and then wonder why no one answers you. (BEAR!!! NO ONE CAN ANSWER YOU IF YOU DON'T CHANGE YOUR SETTINGS!! *wink*)

3. Thou shalt not have the right ("gentlemen") to fuss WHEN (not if) the combination of women you put on your page resembling the hoochie mama convention in Las Vegas start to turn on you and each other trying to compete in who will out-slut each other. Men, you reap what you sow. Try to remember that we females have absolutely no common sense at times and you will (read that, you WILL) have some females on your list that could have appeared in Fatal Attraction boiling bunnies. They will make your life miserable if you start to flirt with every single female online when they thought they were special. I know it's fun to attract 300 of your bestest naked buddies (even the ones with fake pics) so it looks like you're the Hugh Hefner of the internet...but just be ready when it starts to explode. (or when you catch something from sleeping around with everyone that will share you in real life for a "meaningful" one night stand)

4. Thou shalt not ("ladies") have the right to complain about, stalk, threaten to kill yourself, nor trash a man's reputation by going to every female on his page to "warn" his friends about him...if you've made a bad choice or been naive enough to fall in love with a total stranger "bad boy" online without ever meeting/dating him before you jump into bed with him. If you find the afore mentioned "bad boys" unbearly attractive, then also realize there is a reason they have that label and as in #3, you will get what you asked for. They WILL be bad with you and will earn that reputation by being scum with you too. Do not post endless blogs bemoaning the fact that you've been an idiot and how it's all his fault. Pull up the big girl panties already, learn and move on. There is such a thing as the high road.

5. Thou shalt not put thy full real name, social security number, phone number and address online for all the world to see...not even to get birthday presents or so that people can help you out in paying your electric bill. Not only is it a "tad" dangerous, it just means we'll have to all take up a collection to have the word "stupid" tattooed on your forehead. Privately sharing your personal information with people you have actually known for a while and form a connection with is perfectly acceptable if you have been tested and found to have common sense and a bit of intuition. If in real life, you constantly find yourself surrounded with people that disappoint or mistreat you, assume you have not passed the common sense test.

6. Thou shalt not change your blast every five minutes by moving a puncutation mark or adding a space, just to get people to notice you and perhaps visit your page. Chances are it will not have the desired effect and only label you as suffering from a severe case of LACK OF ATTENTION DISORDER.

7. Thou shalt not have a totally blank profile and expect to have everyone flock to be your friend. If you have no pictures (even an avatar), no information...not even a cheesy quote on your page, prepare to be pretty lonely. Even if you might be a hot babe or stud muffin man in real life (not likely, but it could happen)...having no personality or a personality that is only player-like in appearance, is pretty much a boring turn-off.

8. Thou shalt not proclaim regularly of having to clean your list up or have a count down to deletion. If you feel the need to trim your "friends" list of the deadwood, just go the heck ahead and do it, but quietly. If you feel the need to announce it ad nauseum...beg, plead, threaten or conjole your "friends" to flock to your page to announce their fidelity and everlasting loyalty to you, it defeats the purpose. To make a "friend" feel the need to apologize for not visiting your page on YOUR schedule and for letting their real life intrude on your online only friendship isn't very friend-like. This is online people. If you don't know someone in real life, you need to realize they have different priorities and things happening in their life that might intrude on this wonderful circus called cyberspace. Everyone here has a different commitment level or reason for being here...along with differing ways of interacting. None of them are right or wrong. If their way of interacting doesn't meet up with the highly unrealistic expectations you cook up in your thought process of how they should handle online interactions, that is your problem, not theirs. Just delete them without fanfare and find other minions that will kiss your butt the way you want them to.

9. Thou shalt not send friend requests simply consisting of the basic standard invitation or one that only includes your desire to cam. If you're only here to get your rocks or rockettes off (while still being totally in love with your spouse or significant other and always faithful...news alert, if you form emotional connections or vitually get naked with others on here, it's not fidelity, even with the spouse's "permission" *rolling my eyes*), more power to you...just don't expect that everyone you find attractive or throw an empty barrage of compliments at is going to immediately fall under your spell and want get nekkid for you. As for just sending the basic invitation, don't assume someone won't visit your page and discover your fetish for spanking, three-somes, and f*cking animals or that you are a total dork too lazy to do anything to your page BEFORE they click accept.

10. Thou shalt not repeatedly call attention to how many people have visited your page or act like a teenager in a high school popularity contest, crawling over others or figuratively screwing anyone you meet (without the benefit of lube) in an attempt to fuel your own ego. If you're getting tons of hits, that's a great thing. Hopefully, it's because you're an interesting, lovely or studly person that people want to be around and actually enjoy interacting with and reading what you have to say. If it's simply because you're an attention whore (male or female) pulling stunts, creating drama or acting like the town ride to order to gain the title of Mr. or Ms. Popularity that you do not enjoy in real life (usually for good reason), you will indeed get a reputation...just probably not the one you were aimming for. Here's a radical idea...try being yourself. You might be pleasantly surprised to find a lot of other people online that actually like you for yourself and not the caricature you hide behind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bonus:

11. Thou shalt NOT send mass messages to everyone on your list either proclaiming your love for "me" and/or the demonic version of an online chain letter. Please don't hit me with the sexy truck, warn me to not add the latest rumored hacker that will erase my hard drive, or tell me how special I am (along with every other female on your list that you're trying to cam with). If you feel the need to send something around, at least have the ability to know how to hide the fact that it's not an exclusive message by checking the box on the messages to hide the other recipients ID's. If you are incapable of doing this, you will be quietly deleted from my list (see #8 above) if it occurs over and over again after I've asked you politely to knock it off. It's frustrating to have everyone that you sent it to, hit "reply all" and to get the same message (that was silly in the first place) 300 more times from total strangers.

Kiss Me In the Morning (In ANY other state but Florida!)

The Art of Kissing...
And Why You Should Kiss, Too

Every now and then a quarrel breaks out among friends, lines are drawn, challenges leveled and, with any luck, somebody walks out with very few blood stains. All over a seemingly innocent discussion: What is the greatest sport on earth?

Some say "football". Some say "baseball". Canadians say "hockey". The rest of the world says "soccer". (Actually, they say "football", too...but they mean "soccer".)

I say: "kissing". Yes, kissing is the greatest contact sport on earth. Allow me to explain just a few of the reasons.

Kissing is the most versatile sport around. There are so many types of kisses to choose from – at least one for just about any occasion. There is the quick peck on the cheek kiss, the peck on each cheek kiss, the peck on your nephew's cheek kiss while grabbing the other cheek flab with your hand, the wildly passionate kiss, the elegant kiss on the hand, the dreaded kiss of death, the "Hey you! Kiss this!", and even the Florida town of Kissimmee (founded, no doubt, by early Italian pioneer kissers).

The Art of Kissing Is Easy
Kissing is easy to transport...I mean, aren't your lips usually with you all day? It really doesn't matter where you are. You can kiss: at the gym, in the boardroom, in the space shuttle, even in Alaska from June through September (any other time of the year there, you stand a good chance that you might be frozen together until the Spring thaw, so kiss at your own risk).

Kissing is the perfect sport. It requires little equipment (Ummm, beyond the original model stuff included at birth, upgrades optional and rarely really necessary), which means you can do it even when not prepared for the occasion, and even when you have to travel light. This makes it the ideal participation sport for businessmen, world travelers and marsupial groupies. Airport scanners have yet to make you check your lips as potential lethal weapons...they are still considered carry-on.
Kissing always livens things up. Try this: the next time you are in an oh-so-booooring meeting that seems to last oh-so-foreeeeever, why not just kiss somebody. Go ahead; try it. See how it livens things up?

Kissing is still legal (for now), in all 50 states and most earth-bound countries. Rumors are circulating that kissing will even be legalized soon on Mars, Jupiter and in Afghanistan. (Check your local listings, I hear that some kissing on places other than the lips is against the law in certain areas..party poopers!)

Cases in point...

In Eureka, Nevada men who wear moustaches are forbidden from kissing women.

In Wisconsin, it is illegal to cut a woman's hair or to kiss on a train.

In Florida, You may not kiss your wife's breasts. (What about women other than your wife?) Oral Sex is also illegal.

(Adjust your travel plans accordingly)

Kissing is 100% biodegradable, so when you kiss somebody, you help the environment. Please recycle, it's the least you can do to help add to the global warming situation.

Kissing is safe to do in a moving vehicle, as long as you are not driving. Ummmm...where to plant the kiss is up to the passenger...but the driver must keep both hands on the wheel.

Kissing is non toxic...unless you kiss somebody who has just swallowed a bottle of Draino. Even so, kissing is still safe, as long as you do not use your mouth.

Kissing is non-fattening. This is perhaps the best news of all, because dieters now have something to keep their mouths busy while not eating, and smokers can quit smoking without having to chew candies until they a) need to diet or b) induce diabetes. (Read the headline: "Kissing prevents diabetes")

Kissing is organic, low in sodium, preservative-free, low in saturated fats and does not contain dozens of delicious ingredients that cannot be pronounced, like javelchromopntheoremicherbicidic acid. (Why isn't it on that blasted food pyramid as a daily requirement for health then??)

Most kisses are not tested on animals, but who am I to stifle your sense of adventure?

You can kiss just about everyone: your boyfriend, your aunt, your wife, your veterinarian, the Prime Minister of the Duchy of Grand Fenwick and your pet aardvark. Don't try kissing them all at the same time though...especially not your girlfriend and your wife. You do so at the risk of bodily harm.

Kissing meets the toughest safety regulations of any national or international sporting organization. Kissing has a tremendous safety record, except for the occasional locked braces. But a quick call for a AAA tow truck fixes that problem (CAA in Canada, AA in the UK, the local plumber in France)

Extreme Kissing NOT Recommended

The only recorded deaths involving kissing are by third parties, usually wives, husbands, spurned lovers and other spectators who somehow get past security and storm onto the playing field like that well-dressed gentleman at the Superbowl.

I do NOT recommend "extreme kissing". For instance, don't kiss an on-duty garbage truck; it is considered dangerous. Don't kiss a metal fence-post in sub-zero weather; readers in northern climates know exactly what I mean. Don't kiss any electrical outlets, unless you're trying for that adorable frizzy hair look and into the sexy burnt flesh smell.

Are you paying attention? This one is important. Don't kiss the vacuum cleaner if you want to retain all your vital organs. It's OK to kiss sandpaper, just don't use your tongue. Don't kiss a chainsaw; I feel this one is self-explanatory. And don't kiss your office manager while on duty...unless you happen to be a work-from-home hermit.

Overall, kissing is so great that it makes baseball, hockey, football and soccer seem like bush league sports. Next time you hear a brawl at your local bar, just go in and give everyone a kiss. I guarantee that you will win the argument hands down. And if not, at least you will make some new friends to argue with. (ummm...personally though...and this is up to you of course, I might limit the kisses passed out to those of the opposite sex. Unless of course you are a fledgling beauty queen taking pictures for future posterity and fame.)


So, anyone up for a kiss? Lay one on me Baby!

Remember, it's said...practice makes perfect (and is purely a lot of fun too, what a deal)!