Predict This!

I don’t mind getting wrinkles. The way I see it, wrinkles are just a natural part of going through life. I’ve earned the smile lines on my face from seeing the world through a slightly sarcastic wit and with humor. I’ve even earned a worry line or two as I’ve raised my children or navigated my way through any pitfalls and challenges I’ve encountered. I wear my wrinkles with pride.

I don’t even mind too much the fact that on some days my “get up and go” seems to have done “gone up and went” and left in its wake a sore muscle or two where previously I would have been none the worse for wear. I’ve found ways to work around sore backs or the occasional lack of energy when I’ve been overly ambitious and forgotten the day before that even though my mind still THINKS like a 20-year-old, my body works like a 40 something and will loudly let me know when I’ve done more than I should. I just plan for recovery time and keep the Tylenol handy as needed.

For the most part, I enjoy this stage of life very much.

What DOES bug the holy heck out of me, is not being able to SEE anymore!

I’ve never had great eyesight. I’ve been very nearsighted since 5th grade, a legacy from my Mom. I started wearing contacts in 6th grade and have never looked back (so to speak). The fact that I don’t have and will never have 20/20 vision has always just been a constant in my life and not such a big deal. I have slowly come to the growing realization over the past few years however, that I can no longer see anything right in front of my nose without wearing my Dollar Tree readers. I am officially now blind as a bat, without the benefit of sonar. It turns out that aging is not indeed for wimps.

Plainly put, if I manage to somehow wander out into the world without one of my several dozen pair of reading glasses close at hand, I’m a menace to society. At the very least, I’m prone to severe fubars when it comes to deciphering details on packages or when reading menus in restaurants. My grown children have many stories of horror where they have had to read menu selections to Mom in full view of the public.

Now, finally to my problem de jour. Texting.

I’m hip..I really REALLY am. (quit laughing) I was geeky when geeky wasn’t cool and have maintained my stellar dork status throughout my life by staying current with new technology. I twitter. I blog. I instant message with a favorite Yankee frequently. I get it. While I still enjoy reading an actual book over owning a Kindle or iPad, and on occasion still would rather compose an old-fashioned snail-mail letter or send a handwritten card vs. an e-card, I for the most part, love the convenience of all things electronic. I will admit that I do have my own way of doing things and might put my own twist on how I use all these “timesavers”. Nonetheless, I stay well versed in most of the newest and at times silliest trends and innovations that come down the proverbial pike.

Texting, however, has become quite a challenge at times. I sit and watch my kids as they text. The blur of their fingers as they massacre the English language in 160 characters or less, yet can still manage to broker world peace, carry on a verbal conversation AND order pizza at the same time, astounds me. Without a single thought or even a glance most of the time, they can fly on tiny keyboards of varying designs and most of the time, I can even make out the real meaning of what they meant to convey as pertinent information in their texts to me.

Here’s where my individuality (you do remember that dying trait, don’t you?) comes in. My phone has dual keyboards. I love the versatility and many possibilities of it. Not only do I have an actual numerical keyboard to make calls with, I also have a full QWERTY keyboard at the ready for texting or composing my version of War and Peace should I so choose to do so on the flea sized keys. Instead of using the itty bitty “full” size keyboard though, I prefer to use the wonders of “predictive text” instead when I send my pearls of wisdom, edicts from Mom, sarcastic thoughts or purely flagrant flirting out to the world.

This is where the problem begins.

It turns out to my absolute amazement, that predictive text, ISN’T really all that predictive when it comes to putting together words that actually make sense when composing a text message. Who knew?? Apparently everyone but me.

Obviously whomever predicted how most people speak was from Mars (or a man). They also were obviously in severe need of a Magic 8 ball if this is their version of prediction.

Call me crazy, but when I want the word “it” in a sentence, for some reason, I find no rhyme or reason as to why, my phone insists on putting “ht” in as what it THINKS I mean to say. HT isn’t a word in any language I’ve ever encountered, yet my SMARTphone, insists on putting it into everything I write. My shortcoming in not always having reading glasses around when I might need them (insert, all the time) means that anyone receiving my texts has to learn to decipher what I meant to say rather than the cryptic mess of characters they might actually receive. I choose to think of it as creating my own language. Heck, that’s what the kids do with LOL and LMAO and TTFN, so why can’t I invent “senior moment texting”?

Other common words that are likely to be inserted by mistake include, but are not limited to…”nope” for “more”, “of” rather than “me”, “tie” instead of “the” and the ever popular “duck” rather than, well you get the idea. Suffice it to say that I’ve discovered the HARD way that predictive text was not really designed with sexting in mind either.

Most of the time, the people I’m texting are either related to me or are as “mature” in years as I am and have known me a long time, so they are used to whatever might cross their screens and knows what I meant to say and interpret it pretty well. They already know that I use correct grammar and spelling in my texts because the teacher in me will not allow me to use “text-speak” with a clear conscious. Well, I TRY to use correct spelling and punctuation, when I can see what I’m doing and the crack predictive text will let me. On top of it all I think I must type with a Southern accent, so that might lead to a tad more confusion at times when colorful, apparently obscure (for Yankees anyway) phrases emerge from my brain.

Anyway, life goes on and I’m adapting in my own special way. I just simply pretend I MEANT to send whatever gibberish I convey and keep texting.

One of these days they’ll invent a keyboard that isn’t meant for fingers the size of gnats and a TV sized screen for we baby boomers that might be becoming a bit challenged with our eyesight. That way we can see what we’re doing and keep up with each other and all these young whippersnappers that are coming along behind us.

To paraphrase a movie quote from Kathy Bates in Fried Green Tomatoes, “I’m older and I spend more money”!! I may also be a tad meaner, but that’s an issue for another day. There HAS to be a growing market for those of us that are slightly sight challenged by our years of experience. (we’ll go with that. See, I CAN be politically correct at times!)

As for the attempts at marketing a phone meant for MY parents, the Jitterbug is a dance, not a phone. Please don’t insult our intelligence, however fleeting it may be. I refuse to be uncool, even it if means I keep sending my own unique brand of communications via text. Perhaps my new way of text-speak will become an overnight sensation.

Anyway BOT, IDK much but I’ll BBL and TTYL. CYA!!!

You Are Cordially Invited To A Tea Party - April 15, 2009

There is an interesting phenomenon going on throughout our country today. In ways not seen on this scale since the war protests of the 70’s, people are showing our government that they are fed up. Americans young and old are sending the message loud and clear that we are tapped out as a nation and weary of yet more restrictions, bail-outs and tax burdens being heaped upon our shoulders and those of our future generations.

It is not a partisan effort, despite what the ultra-left wing branch of the Democratic party would lead you to believe. There are Republicans, Democrats and Independents alike participating in this show of outrage and frustration. We are exercising our Constitutional rights as Americans, whatever our political affiliations might be, to assembly and free speech. We are, as a people, sending a message that while we respect the office of the President, many of us grow increasingly unhappy with the direction the country is being guided or shoved down a path we do not want.

So, today we protest our frustration and convey our disagreement with policies and new taxes and programs that it are being presented as what “we” want. I for one, am tired of being told what is good for me and to just shut up, sit back and agree with those that do NOT represent my views, despite what they seem to believe. I’m angry with the bail-outs that were passed “for our own good” even though the public outrage and opinion showed that Americans were soundly against their passage.

Washington and those currently in office better pay attention to what is being expressed by the people that have elected them as our representatives. If they are smart, they will not put spin on it or tell us once again what they think we meant to say rather than listening to what we are actually SAYING to them. This is a warning shot for those coming up for re-election that we the people, are paying attention and are discontented with their actions and disregard for what we think.

So, exercise your right to be heard. Even if you believe no one is listening, it is a sure bet that you won’t be heard if you don’t even try. In the past few election cycles it has vividly been shown that even a few individual votes do indeed count. If you choose to sit on your backside, then don’t complain when you are not “bailed out” like the major corporations or fall through the cracks when you thought you’d be saved from your responsibilities and allowed a free pass.

Wake up and smell the tea brewing!

Washington, you are not doing a good job at hearing the people you represent and that elected you. This is not just a fluke or something that will go away if you put your fingers in your collective ears and cover your eyes. To even give the impression, whether accurate or not, that the views of your constituents are falling on deaf ears would be a mistake if you wish to continue to serve the people that elected you. Change is indeed brewing in this country, although I’m not sure that it’s quite the change the current administration envisioned. I beg you, do not make the mistake of dismissing or alienating what is becoming a larger and larger section of the American people clammering to be heard.


On another little, purely personal note, I know that the original Tea Party was located in Boston in 1773. However, we in the South know the TRUE value of tea. Look in any refrigerator in a true Southern household, and you will find a gallon or two (or four) of the best SWEET tea that you’ll ever taste. I know that the Yankees amongst us (hear that oh stoic one?), don’t recognize the simple indulgent pleasure in a glass of sweet tea and insist that having sugar on the table will somehow negate the fact that your restaurants don’t have it available on your menus up North. You just don’t know what you’re missing. Perhaps it’s why Southerners always have a smile on their face and something to say to everyone, even making actual eye contact as we do!! We’re just infused with sweetness from birth through our tea! ;)


Today in Atlanta, our tea party will have sweet tea flowing freely and our voices as proud Americans will be heard loud and clear. The only question is, will those in Washington be smart enough to pay attention and react by rethinking some of their proposed actions?

Time will tell. One thing is certain, ignoring it or making light of such a large group of Americans discontent would be foolish and ill-advised on their part.

“We in America do not have government by the majority. We have government by the
majority who participate.” Thomas Jefferson

**The DHS bulletin released or ”conveniently leaked” on April 7th is troubling in the fact that it seems to be a not so subtle hint that our freedom of speech is being threatened at least by threat of intimidation and at worst incrimination. We all need to pay attention and be vigilant of such veiled threats against our freedoms.

Come One, Come All..The New Heights of Absurdity in Politics

Step right up, and don't be shy!! You won't believe your eyes! Let’s turn our side show into the main attraction!

Come one, come all to the greatest show on earth!

Much like the walking the midway at the county fair, the side show barkers in Washington are turning the government into what amounts to a three ring circus. There are bizarre shows and distractions aplenty as you wander down the midway that call out for attention on the way to the main attraction now beginning under the Big Top. The clowns are piling into the itty bitty car in preparation for the big show to come.

Between all the companies that are too big to fail, stimulus packages that are too urgent to read before passing, and senate committee hearings being held solely to point fingers for the cameras with pseudo outrage that is a day late and several billion (trillion) dollars short, the goings on in our government would be almost entertaining if it wasn't all so tragic in it's scope and the irreversible damage that is being done to our country.

The finger pointing and flailing financial free-for-all occurring right now is unprecedented, even by modern political standards. Anyone with half a brain knows, if you keep putting enough stress on a situation, something's gotta give and it's most likely not going to be pretty when it all explodes.

Yesterday I sat and watched with morbid fascination and a few choice words hurled at the television, the show being played out in the Senate committee hearings yesterday. Don't get me wrong, I'm furious with AIG and it's mode of operations that put it, and by default, the American taxpayer in a vice.

What makes me even MORE incensed however, is the posturing going on by the politicians that enabled the practices to operate in the first place. Then with lightning speed (something not seen in the Halls of Congress), passed a monster BAILOUT (NOT a recovery and reinvestment act) plan that they didn't take the time to even READ first and allowed the very payouts of bonuses they are now squealing like stuffed pigs over. The finger pointing and posturing would be a box office comedy winner if it wasn't all so tragic and devastating to our futures.

The bonuses themselves are not going to sink the economy of course. They are just a symbol of the greater problem and the flavor of the day. They represent the flailing going on at the highest levels in this new administration in a misguided attempt to win friends and influence enemies, all under the guise of "hope and change". Not a darned thing has changed other than it's now playing out in a macabre slow motion slide that is in turn, hurting Americans from coast to coast on every level.

What makes all of this so different for the politicians? Why are they now acting out of panic and running around like schoolgirls caught with their panties down? It's simple...


THE AMERICAN PEOPLE ARE PAYING ATTENTION NOW LIKE NEVER BEFORE.


The government has always been able to count on one thing, the inattentiveness and short attention span of the public for anything that has to do with the day to day operations in Washington. We as a people over the years have been lazy. We've sat on the sidelines, only coming off the benches when something directly affects us. Presidential elections will guilt some into becoming active in the course of our country for a little while every 4 years.

Occasionally a scandal involving sex, power or money will raise mild outrage and garner a bit of hoopla before it fades into obscurity. The attacks on 9/11 rallied us around the flag for a while, but our memories have dulled with time of the absolutely heart wrenching pain and heartache we lived through as a nation just a few years ago. Our national outrage has almost disappeared in favor of being fair and politically correct to even those that wish us mortal harm.

Right now however, the public is watching and is increasingly mad as hell. Protests and tea parties are starting to pop up like the spring bulbs emerging from the ground. One thing our new administration miscalculated gravely, is this...Americans may have a short attention span...but when they are directly being affected and feeling the pain of a situation...it's polarizing. It's impossible to do business as usual in the Nation's capital and operate like the Wizard in Oz. People are paying attention to the man behind the curtain and they don't like what they are seeing.

Washington is slowly getting a clue about the angst and anger in the ground swell chorus that is building. The voices are not silent anymore, they are instead, polarizing in their volume and intensity..and the developing verdict for the performance of those used to operating under the cloak of secrecy and platitudes isn't good.

The light is on and many of the roaches are scurrying for the protection of the darkness. The only problem is, the public is starting to employ spotlights to reach into the dark crevices.

It's time for Washington to wake up, quit pointing fingers and blame at each other like a demented 3 Stooges saga, and actually make progress without throwing money we don't have at the problem.

Before we all wake up and find out our country is now owned by the rest of the world.

I'm Not Settling For Just Getting By..Are You?

I rarely, if ever, listen to the drive time disc jockeys (even though I dated a prominent one here in at Atlanta years ago). Usually, when they start endlessly talking ad nauseum about some silly subject designed to titillate the masses, I switch to another station or at times even just turn the radio off in favor of a little blessed hard found silence on the drive home.


Today though, on the way home from the airport, one of the local shows hit on a topic that was morbidly fascinating to listen to. It was a case of not being totally surprised by the subject matter, quite frankly it’s something I’ve addressed many times over the years. Instead it amazed me that so many people would get on live radio and be brutally honest, no holds barred. They were taking the chance of hurting those that love them or that were clueless in their relationships by using not only their names, but in having someone hear and recognize their voices.


As I said, the topic was not a surprise. The DJs asked who amongst us had “settled” in their relationships for someone that was “safe” rather than what we truly wanted. By safe, they meant someone that we thought would be a good mate or parent, that would most likely never stray but if we’re honest with ourselves, we really have little to no attraction to besides friendship and never will. They asked who had married someone that they “learned” to have some feelings for, however pale those emotions might be, but that they do not have passion for.


The phone lines were literally jammed with callers almost eager to tell their tales of passing over the ones that fired their senses for the one that will simply “do”. While there were plenty of men calling, the women were far more brutal and plentiful in their descriptions of how boring their mates were. Most also were very honest about their lack of attraction for their partner’s looks and desirability factor. Even those only married a short time no longer had any great desire to be intimate with their mates. The spark just isn’t there and wasn’t there to begin with.


It was almost as if the floodgates had been opened and all the people that had been hiding in the shadows with their discontent, now felt free to finally share their deepest secrets with all of Atlanta. So why do so many people settle and stay in relationships that are not meeting their needs and never will?


Why are we all still here?


Why are we still dealing with it?


What is it that makes us attempt to salvage every shred of our relationships?


Is it attachment? Insecurity? Is the thought of being alone so terrible that we’re settling with unsatisfactory actions or the lack thereof in our relationships? Can they really love us as much as they say they do and act like such jerks sometimes? (Uninterested, interested in someone else, or only interested in themselves?)


Some of the reasons we settle in relationships and stay in relationships:

1. Security


2. Fear of Change


3. Safety


4. It's easier to stay in our comfort zone without too much effort required or expected of us


5. Attachment


6. Afraid to be alone


7. Not wanting to disappoint our peers or family and take the chance of being excluded from the "group" and upset the status quo


8. Fear of being seen as the bad guy/gal or appearing to be selfish


9. What if the next relationship is worse?


10. A sense of obligation/responsibility, whether real or imagined

Is there a way you are settling for less than you deserve in a relationship? Are you saying a clear “no” to things that do not work for you or the things that are not right for you? Are you afraid of being alone? Afraid you will not have another chance at love? And most of all, do you feel unworthy to have a deeply loving relationship?

Or could it be that having a real adult relationship is too scary and too much work? Is it too daunting to let someone see that much of yourself and take the chance they might not like what they discover? Are we too afraid to reach for what we want and deserve to have..to live life to the fullest? Are we becoming a society that is satisfied with apathy and being just “okay” rather than striving for excellence in every area of our lives, personal and professional?


Are YOU settling? If so, why do you choose to cheat yourself and everyone around you by withholding major parts of yourself or disconnecting from life and not living it to it’s full potential?



Is it ever okay to settle for apathy and merely what we think we can "get" over what we want and need to be TRULY happy in order to live life to it's full potential? Is that fair to ourselves or for that matter to those we choose to settle for? Are we cheating them as well out of their chance for happiness?

What Makes You Stay - Deana Carter from Hope Floats

Look at me

I'm in a place

I never thought I'd be..

Don't have the strength

To fight anymore

Or a reason not to leave.

So tell me why I still keep holding on

To something I just cannot see.

What makes you stay

When your world falls apart?

What makes you try one more time

When it's not in your heart?

At the end of your rope

When you can't find any hope..

You still look at her and say

I just can't walk away.

Tell me what makes you stay.

I'm not afraid

Of living alone

I was alone before he came.

I've been in love

Many times before

But this time's not the same.

I've always been the first to say goodbye

Now it's the last thing I can do.

What makes you stay

When your world falls apart?

What makes you try one more time

When it's not in your heart?

At the end of your rope

When you can't find any hope

You still look at her and say..

I just can't walk away.

Tell me what makes you stay.

When it goes this deep

And feels this strong,

I can't convince myself

That this love is wrong.

What makes you stay

When your world falls apart?

What makes you try one more time

When it's not in your heart?

At the end of your rope

When you can't find any hope..

You still look at her and say

I just can't walk away.

Tell me what makes you stay.

Take a Chance On Life..Make it Count

Take chances…
Tell the truth…
Date someone totally wrong for you…Twice…
Say no…
Spend all your cash…
Fall in love…
Get to know someone random…
BE RANDOM…
Say “I love you”…
Trust even when it scares you…
Sing out loud…
Let someone know how much they mean to you…
Laugh at a stupid joke…
Cry…
Get revenge now and then…
Apologize…
Tell a jerk what you think of them…
Let someone know what they are missing…
Share your inner thoughts…
Occasionally give in to your secret urges…
Take a chance on someone…
Try new looks…
Take the road less traveled…
Don’t take yourself so seriously all the time…
Tell someone you miss them…
Be mysterious…
NEVER settle for less than you deserve or want…
And always,

LIVE LIFE!!

The ability or will to live outside our natural comfort zone is something that most people will never think of doing, much less attempt. I’m not talking about abandoning all sense of responsibility or duty in day to day life. Unfortunately, that does seem to be a growing trait more and more people seem to be taking on in our society today. Not accepting responsibility for their actions or not being prepared for consequences is something that a lot of my generation seems to be embracing themselves and then passing on to our children. It’s much easier to shift blame or just ignore the facts of what our actions or words can cause.

Is everyone this way? No, thank goodness…there are still a majority of people that realize you have to be accountable and take a stand for what you truly believe in and let your life reflect those beliefs…and if things don’t work out the way you thought they would or should, take the consequences with grace and style…and move on.

HOWEVER, I have come to realize over time that there also has to be a balance, or rather there SHOULD be a balance in your life, that enables you to fulfill the duties and tasks you need to accomplish while at the same time always you not neglect the needs of your soul or the things that can make you happy. The things that might take you outside that comfort zone a lot of us seem to fall into and never leave.

Is finding that balance an easy thing to do? NO…it’s something that can and probably will cause that butterflies in your stomach feeling, sweaty palms and it’s pretty much guaranteed you will miss sleep while trying to find yourself. Is it something necessary to live life to it’s fullest so that you can one day look back at your life and truly have no regrets? No regrets for always having done what was always expected of you rather than what would have made you happy (even now and then)?

ABSOLUTELY!!!

I see examples of so many bitter unhappy people merely walking through their lives these days.
There are those that are dissatisfied with their lives or standing in society. The ones that are unhappy with their own choices and instead want to blame others rather than themselves when life doesn’t work out the way they planned. They end up feeling alone or stupid because of decisions they have freely made. It almost seems they take comfort in their misery and are almost anxious to wallow in their discomfort rather than take steps to improve the things making them miserable.

Next there are those that believe by taking care of everyone around them at the expense of themselves or their own happiness, that they somehow are doing the right thing. Instead, they end up cheating everyone around them, including themselves. They are robbing those they love of ever knowing the true person living within. The people that will freely take from them without interest or care for the sacrifices being made are being done no favors. The person that lives their life through the happiness of others is in essence wasting a huge part of themselves and their potential, often without anyone even noticing or caring.

Then there some, and in my opinion, the worst…those that are intent on thinking themselves above it all and better than their fellow man, even though a lot of their own actions are purely hypocritical and the same or worse than those they try to belittle. In the end, they only end up making themselves look foolish in the process and rarely see it. I have found that I have no patience or sympathy for anyone that makes the choice to be vindictive, mean spirited or judgemental toward others instead of putting responsibility on themselves or living their own lives. I do however, pity those stuck in that rut of unhappiness or deceit, and for the people that have to live with or interact with them over and over again. The masks they think they wear so carefully are often instead transparent to everyone around them.

I know I can’t change all of the wrongs in the world by myself or always worry about what I cannot change in others. I don’t plan to look back on my life one day and lament the fact that I missed out on things I should have taken a chance on. The things that at the time might have seemed crazy or scary or stupid…something not in my “comfort zone”.

Over the last few years I have embraced this philosophy. In doing so, at times the decisions I’ve made have turned out to be terrific ones where I’ve grown, learned and purely enjoyed. At times, as will happen, some choices were ones in the end I’d have rather not made, but I still learned from those choices as well. It turns out even tough lessons are valuable ones if you let them be.

I plan to keep living life and taking chances outside what is merely expected of me. In the process I will try to never purposely do harm to others or shirk responsibilities that are all important in life. By the same token however, I also never plan to quit growing or experiencing the flavors and colors of life, or for that matter shrink away from confrontations if they are warranted. I will not sacrifice my full potential or happiness out of fear or by trying to take care of everyone else but myself in a misguided attempt to be selfless or a martyr.

I will try to always take chances when I can, even when I’m uncertain of the outcome. This is what keeps us vital and young and moving ahead. It keeps us from becoming stagnant, unhappy or bitter because of missed opportunities or from blaming others for what we decide to do or not do with our lives. It keeps us from having disappointment in how our lives turn out.

So I’m living my life as I started this post, continuing to move forward with my eyes wide open, head held high and my mind open to what is to come, even in these uncertain times.

Living your life well IS truly the best “revenge” against disappointment or being stuck in a rut with no chance of escape. It’s not comfortable at times to believe in yourself, but life will certainly never be dull!

~Live well, laugh often, love passionately~

The Best and The Worst of Times

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...

It was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness.

It was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity...

It was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness.

It was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair,

We had everything before us, we had nothing before us.

We were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way . . ."

"All going direct the other way." Somehow with the news of AIG's latest and greatest claim to fame this morning of it's plan to give out 165 Million dollars, the "other way" that Dickens speaks of seems to indicate the other way we are all going directly to is in fact, hell in a hand basket. Do not pass go, do not collect $200 (of course, unless you're entitled to a bailout), do NOT go directly to jail, even if you are well deserving of doing so, it seems.

I don' t know about you, but I'm one of the so called "little people" or middle class or what is quickly becoming the group falling through the cracks. I'm not entitled enough to skate through on my "last" couple of million bucks or downtrodden enough to qualify for free handouts from the government (yet). I'm simply in the group of trying to be responsible and pay our bills the best way we can amongst growing unemployment or shrinking salaries. The ones making do with what we have, rather than trying to find ways to work the system or have someone swoop in and rescue us or pay our way.

Granted, day to day living is not always a bunch of laughs. I seem to have missed the memo where I was promised that life would always be fun or easy. Silly me, I was raised to find ways to take care of things that were my responsibility. While I'd love to live high on the hog all the time with penthouses, expensive vacations and lots of "toys", I was taught that I was old enough for my wants not to hurt me. I learned that if I can't afford something, then I have to wait until I can and make do with dreams until I find a way to make it happen. In doing so, I learned to appreciate the good things even more when they arrived or were earned. I learned pride and perseverance. Qualities all that need we are going to have to find again and learn to teach those survival skills to our children..many of whom have never heard the word no or had to do without.

So news this morning of yet more stupidity on MY hard earned dime is purely starting to piss me off. It turns out the division that is receiving the "gift" of our tax payer money in the form of bonuses, is the division whose risky contracts caused massive losses to the insurer in the first place. Has the world lost all sense of reason? Am I the ONLY one that sees the irony and idiocy in all of this? The taxpayer funded bailout (I refuse to call it the Recovery and Reinvestment Act, what a load of manure...playing with semantics won't make it more palatable) is in effect being used to REWARD those that cause it to be needed in the first place. The vivid image of a cat chasing it's tail comes to mind.

I personally don't give a flying flip that AIG is "contractually" obligated to pay these bonuses...the game and world has changed and along with it the rules. The excuse that they would be sued if they didn't fork over the money doesn't hold water with me. Let the people that helped cause this mess sue to get their blood money, I double dog dare them. If they have the kahonas to file a public lawsuit and face the public outrage, I say, let them go for it...but do NOT just meekly hand them the money. Make them actually do some work for it. Lord knows, they didn't do work or practice due diligence to earn it in the first place. When are we going to start putting our collective feet down and say we're mad as hell and NOT going to take it anymore??

The government and our illustrious administration is all over the place on every single issue put in front of it. They manage to come down on both sides of every issue, sometimes within the confines of a single speech. First we're in a catastrophic crisis that is going to get hellaciously worse. Then as of last week, all of the sudden, maybe it's NOT as bad as we thought? HUH?? Excuse me??? It just all leaves you scratching your head and saying what in heavens are they all thinking? ARE they thinking at ALL or is everyone just throwing a dart at a big board of possible outcomes and using it as the message of the day? No wonder the stock market and consumers are totally devoid of direction or confidence. I have said many times in the past 4 to 5 months, that my head is going to literally explode one of these days as I listen to yet one more speech or lecture from our leaders. Maybe that's the grand master plan...To have as many of us stroke out from frustration over the mixed messages, ineptitude and confusion being spread by those we elected to higher power.

I'm here to say, just as many others more learned than I am..that life is going to get a lot worse before it gets better. You can bet your bottom dollar on it or take it to the bank (just make sure it's a solvent one). We have all enjoyed the decades of excesses and must now fall back to earth and our roots. Many of us in our 40's or 50's remember our parents teaching us right from wrong. Somehow that message got lost or ignored along the way in the name of profit or greed or keeping up with the neighbor next door. We allowed ourselves to make excuses or allowances for why we deserved to have more than we had actually earned. It's now costing us all.

It's going to be painful, but not fatal. We are capable of fixing this mess and finding a sensible middle ground on which to now live. Will our world ever be the same again? No, I personally don't think so. This is not just a localized problem in our nation, it's a worldwide meltdown. The world and all our ways of living are now changed. Given the scope of the mess we're fighting our way through, we never should have been living life the way we were in the first place. Moderation and common sense are going to have to prevail.

It's not as bad as it sounds to find new ways of doing things. There will be positives amongst the icky stuff to come. We'll find who we can depend on and rediscover or find in the first place ways to enjoy ourselves and families without the distraction of so much "stuff" getting in the way. We will learn if we're smart enough to pay attention, that there are more things important than getting a new car every year or going on several fancy vacations a year so we can compare pictures with our friends and have a contest to determine who had the best time or spent the most money. Who knows? Simple pleasures just may be rediscovered along with the joy they can bring. To learn appreciation for living life without so much pressure to always have more and the finding that even the more is never enough.

We have to stop the stupidity of letting the inmates rule the asylum. To continue to let executives or those so used to "playing the game" keep sliding things past us on the rails of excuses or reasons why things CAN'T be changed, has to stop. The government has to develop a backbone, stop trying to please everyone and start handing out consequences for bad behavior. Let the big boys fail...nothing is TOO big or TOO important to fail. Someone or a better organization will rise to take their place.

It's the American way. Now we all just need to remember what that way is and work to build a better more stable foundation that has some common sense...and learn to savor the good things before always needing more.

The lyrics of a Styx song, "The Best of Times" come to mind...

Tonight's the night well make history honey, you and I..
And I'll take any risk to tie back the hands of time
And stay with you here tonight.

I know you feel these are the worst of times..
I do believe its true
When people lock their doors and hide inside.

Rumor has it its the end of paradise
But I know, if the world just passed us by
Baby I know, you wouldn't have to cry.

The best of times are when I'm alone with you
Some rain, some shine, we'll make this a world for two..
Our memories of yesterday will last a lifetime.

We'll take the best, forget the rest
And someday well find these are the best of times
These are the best of times

The headlines read these are the worst of times,
I do believe its true.
I feel so helpless like a boat against the tide.

I wish the summer winds could bring back paradise
But I know, if the world turned upside down
Baby, I know you'd always be around.

The best of times are when I'm alone with you
Some rain, some shine, we'll make this a world for two..
Our memories of yesterday will last a lifetime.

We'll take the best, forget the rest
And someday we'll find these are the best of times..
These are the best of times.

And
So my friends we'll say goodnight..for time has claimed its prize.
But tonight will always last
As long as we keep alive memories of paradise...

Just Another Day in Paradise!

I was born and raised in Georgia. I’m the proud product of the many varied colorful influences that one can only benefit from if they were immersed in our unique and at times ludicrous way of life here in the South. As most will say of the place they call home, I will admit that I have always felt very fortunate to have had my personality formed with a mixture of family, friends, God and country..with a dash of bizarre thrown in for good measure.

One thing that Southerners are never accused of, is being boring. We tend to have an unique way of looking at life. I will also readily admit that you also have to have a healthy sense of humor and not take yourself too seriously to grow up in the South in order to be able to fully appreciate all it has to offer..from the subtle nuances and tempo of the culture to the in your face eccentricities.

I’m a true Southern Belle raised with cotillions and crazy relatives that in many cases, had colorful pasts..bless their hearts. We had dinner on the grounds once a month after Church on Sunday with some of the best cooking on God’s green earth. We eat supper during the week at night instead of having dinner..BUT the meal in the middle of the day on Sunday was always called dinner. I know the difference in pitching a fit or having a conniption. We worship at the altar of our SEC football teams and life stops on Saturday as we follow what is happening to our beloved Alma maters (in my case, UGA..GO DAWGS!). We eat grits and drink sweet tea. We mind our manners and still say “Yes Ma’am” and “No Sir”. We cannot drive in snow or ice…or are smart enough to pretend not to know how to do it, so that we can have snow days or weeks off now and then. We can literally talk the ears off a June bug.

This week a National Survey was released and conducted by Gallup in partnership with Healthways and America’s Health Insurance Plans that ranked the top areas of the country in terms of residents overall well-being. I was pleasantly surprised to see that the rest of the country will see what I have always known, the county I grew up in and still live in, is ranked second in the nation in the survey.

The survey questioned residents across the country about physical health, life evaluation, emotional health and basic access. Here in Cobb, we scored first in the physical health category, second in life evaluation, fourth in emotional health, and 10th in basic access.

Move over Disney World, there’s a new sheriff in town. Who knew we were already living day to day in the new “Happiest Place on Earth”?? All this time we’ve been spending our vacation money (mortgaging our firstborn in some cases) and risking our sanity to go visit the Big Mouse so that we could immerse ourselves in happiness on the E-ticket rides. If we had ONLY realized we could have stayed home and avoided the crowds!!

So, the message for today is…don’t worry, be HAPPY!!

It appears I’m in better shape than I thought given the changes in the world and economic climate and all the accompanying challenges.

Who knew? (besides us, of course)

Why Waste a Good Crisis...

...when you can create widespread comic relief and chaos instead??







Let's put aside for the moment the pure idiocy and symbolism of giving a button to push, much less a RED button to the Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov as her opening salvo into discussions of US-Russian relations. Ummmm..HELLO?? How in heaven's name do translators get the intended word "Reset" somehow confused with "Overcharge"??? Where were the proofreading skills that I make even my kindergarten students practice? Perhaps a Freudian slip.


Let's totally disregard the fact that just last week it was leaked, rumored, whatever..that President Obama sent a letter a few weeks ago offering to put the brakes on or totally abandon the missile shield program overseas if Russia would "help" us in persuading Iran to play nice and give up their dangerous toys (can't have them putting anyone's eye out, now can we??)


Then our illustrious Hope and Change administration also managed to alienate British Prime Minister Gordon Brown and in the process look cartoonish, when in an epic (can't do anything small, now can we?) thoughtless gesture, gave him plastic gift shop helicopters and a DVD collection of American movies in exchange for a few priceless "trinkets" that he and his country bestowed on our new best hope. I guess Walmart didn't have any of the "As Seen on TV" products in stock to sweeten the gift pot.


I know what you're thinking...obviously DVDs and plastic helicopters stack up SO well with an ornamental desk pen-holder made from the oak timbers of the Victorian anti-slaver HMS Gannet, once named HMS President for the Resolute desk in the Oval office...the framed commission for HMS Resolute, a vessel that came to symbolise Anglo-US peace when it was saved from ice packs by Americans and given to Queen Victoria...and a first edition set of the seven-volume classic biography of Churchill by Sir Martin Gilbert. They also brought thoughtful handpicked gifts for the first girls.


The Obamas in turn, managed to treat the Gordons like the relative you see once a year at Christmas and use the last pennies of your gift budget to grab something on clearance...and in the process snub one of our staunchest allies. Mission Accomplished, Mr. President!! Please keep making us proud! Why not just give them a gift card while you're at it. At least that might have stimulated the economy in some way if they redeemed it.


When the Obama administration touted the fact that they were going to boost our reputation on the world stage again, I didn't think they meant the comedy stage. The world is starting to snicker at the United States and beginning to fall off the adoration bandwagon. The pedestals are being put away in favor of feet of clay.


The resounding chorus coming from the top...starting with Rahm Emanuel and echoed by Hillary Clinton this week...

~“Never waste a good crisis,” Clinton told a hearing at the European Parliament.
“And when it comes to the economic crisis, don’t waste it when it can have a
very positive impact on climate change and energy security.” … “This is a
propitious time … we can actually begin to demonstrate our willingness to
confront this. We are making up the best we can for lost time,” she
added.~

...when in the middle of a worldwide economic meltdown is chilling if you pay attention. Focus is being absolutely lost on the important immediate economic domestic issues in favor of cramming every single piece of expensive pet agendas through on the coattails of each piece of legislation being considered. Heck, ignore the fact that we are hemorrhaging money, let's revamp health care and give everyone a pig in a poke while we're at it!! Oh wait, those pigs probably cause global warming and might be construed as pork or need lipstick...better make it tainted peanut butter instead!!! Yeah, that's the ticket! That will build respect for us around the world!


Hold on to your goodie bags, it appears to be Howdie Doodie Time again!


Bless their hearts.

"Obama inherited a disaster and has created a catastrophe." Ann Coulter

I'm Not Worried...

I’m not worried about what President Obama is going to do “for” me..I’m worried about what the current administration is going to do “TO” me..”TO” our country and “TO” our freedoms. I realize that my way of thinking is a big difference from the people waiting in line for all the ways that the country can relieve them of all personal responsibility and save them. I realize, to my dismay, that I’m fast becoming the minority in our country.

I was raised to believe that life isn’t meant to be a cakewalk and always easy. We seem to be quickly becoming a nation of those that expect no consequences for poor personal decisions. We are becoming a nation of people that don’t know how to fail and then pick themselves up and find ways to be better than before. We are quickly becoming a nation of people that expect something for nothing in a bottomless all-you-can eat buffet of handouts and bailouts.

Where does it all stop? I used to think that things would hit bottom and we’d recover and be stronger than ever. It’s always been the American way..the dogged determination to find ways to succeed. It’s what has made our country unique over the decades. Our country was founded by those that left a hard life with little to no possibility for personal freedoms or growth and left all that they knew for an uncertain future where they could be in control of their own destiny.

I’m now not so sure there is a bottom to find. I get up each morning and check the headlines. It’s like we are in some bizarre loop as was portrayed in “Groundhog Day” and events just keep repeating over and over again..with more and more desperate flailing to try and stop the freefall.

Here’s a concept. Just stop.

Breathe.

Slow down and think first before simply reacting blindly without a clear direction.

Know that we are all going to hurt and not live charmed lives for a while. Let the American spirit that I still believe to be present in a lot of the population, albeit undrawn upon in recent years..to rekindle and resurface. Realize that life has changed, deal with it, and find ways to make it better. Will it be easy? Of course not! So many have forgotten or never learned in the first place that easy things are seldom as precious as those we fight or work for.

We need to not be ruled by fear and desperation that would lead to making hasty ill-advised decisions without thinking first. We need to learn to once again stand up on our own two feet and improvise when things get tough. While thankfully it’s not the case right now…I have known personally and lived through the uncertainty and fear of being without a job and wondering how you will provide for a family and pay bills and at times even meet the basic needs of food or health care. It purely sucks. I have always known how to “make do” with what is available and when the times aren’t as good, how to find ways to survive.

It’s a lost art that is going to have to be relearned by some and learned for the first time by many others. So many need to learn to not count on the government to bail them out or rescue them..to instead learn again how to depend on themselves.

The times and era of overindulgence and excess are over..perhaps for good. The world has changed in fundamental ways which will effect our way of life in this country as well. We all profited and benefited in ways large and small during the bountiful years and we are all going to hurt to some degree in the years to come.

Life has changed as we know it. It’s up to all of us to find ways to make it an adventure and to succeed. It will be difficult and at times purely terrifying. That is part of living..as uncomfortable and unwanted as some parts of that life can be, there are always bright spots to be found and cherished if you take the time to look for them. If you stop expecting rescue and readjust your thinking to realize each day is a new opportunity. Every day is different. The next day may be just as lousy as the one before, but it will be different with different opportunities to make a change or a difference. The next day is rarely always just as bad. Sometimes the good might be minuscule in it’s scope, but it’s there if you look for it.

We are Americans. We are NOT due or promised a charmed life. We ARE promised our freedoms and the ability to make our own decisions as to what is best for our own families.

We need to remember that..find our courage and our bootstraps..and start pulling OURSELVES up.

I for one, don’t want to have to depend on the kindness of others for my day to day existence. While I’m not above asking for help if it’s a matter of survival or life and death, I’m also not afraid of struggle and hardship. It makes the good times sweeter when they come..and they will come eventually. Those good times may not be exactly as we envisioned…but savor them anyway.

Learn how to be proud Americans again and not a wimpy nation of those waiting and expecting to be taken care of by others. Learn to deal with hardship and be innovative and inventive. It’s the American way that has been lost.

Fight to get it back. Don’t wait for others to do the work and think that you can’t possibly make a difference. Learn to be the ONE person you can always count on. Trust yourself and realize that this too will all pass. The better times may not arrive on our schedule or be exactly what we imagined, but...

There ARE better days ahead for us all.

Getting To Know ME

I know, the illustrious title of the blog suggests that I might be about to write yet another one of the totally boring, completely predictable blogs found everywhere online these days. You know the ones, they are designed to explore inner angst and share every minute detail of a person's life with any total stranger that stumbles across their humble little area of cyberspace. While it's true that somewhere along the line throughout anything I might chose to write on this site, a reader might glean a smidgen of a peek into what makes me tick or into my day to day life, I see no reason to "introduce" myself in great detail here. Where's the fun in that?

In this fast paced, hurry up and wait world we live in, there is no sense of mystery or anticipation anymore. It's an all out, instant gratification, short attention spanned existence developing around us. I, for one..don't buy into it. I know I'm no spring chicken anymore, but I'm not a dinosaur either. There have to be other so-called "adults" that feel the same way.
I do see glimmers here and there that indicate there are still non-sheep amongst us. Granted, given an article I saw the other day that quoted statistics about the number of Facebook and MySpace users vs. those that see no need to have said pages is dramatically tilted in favor of those that have joined the growing throngs of those that participate, I do admit I'm now in the official minority. I just don't feel the need to have 4000 of my closest friends be people I've never met in real life..or to have the people I DO know in person, become a blip on a computer screen or an instant message rather than spend actual face time with them. So much is lost in translation.

It's not that I'm not a geek or even remotely un-hip. I was a computer science major in the dark ages before it was cool to like computers (even BEFORE PC's were a glimmer in Bill Gates eye). I have always been able to program my own VCR (yes, I know they are obsolete now, but I COULD program one if I had to!). I have a smart phone that I can operate with ease. I know my way inside and out of programming and creating websites, I even used to be a web mistress and site designer. I fully appreciate the role that computers and the Internet allow us. I have 3 children in their teens and twenties that I have to keep up with. I teach school and am constantly exposed to the current trends, good and ridiculous. I am a flight attendant and run across people from every walk of life and get to interact with them. Did I mention that as a Southern female, I'm also a teensy bit outgoing and will talk your ear off given the chance?

By the same token, I see bits of society slipping away...parts I view as vitally important to our humanity. I'm all for change (well, truthfully not as much as I used to be..I seem to be slowly turning into my parents). Let's compromise and say I'm totally in favor of progress..as long as it is indeed progress and not instead hiding behind a wall of technology and isolation rather than living life. It's exciting to meet people from distances that you would never have the opportunity otherwise to ever cross paths with via the Internet. It opens up a whole new world of possibilities and knowledge about those around us.

What we must not do is allow that to evolve into our new version of reality. Regardless of the fact if you know a person's bathroom schedule or their deepest darkest secrets..if you haven't met them face to face and looked in their eyes..had a chance to reach out and touch them or smile at them in person and not via webcam..you DO NOT really know a person. It's too easy to hide behind our masks online. It's very easy to only share what we want shared and hide the rest of what makes one an individual. It's too tempting to only share what makes us look good or to play a part and invent ourselves rather than do the heavy lifting of explanations for behaviors that best online "friend" might not approve of.

I know this was a long-winded way to get back around to the main title of this blog.."Getting To Know ME". I've been on a journey of discovery the past few months due to the twists and turns of everyday life that one simply cannot anticipate. Every time I think I'm done changing or growing or have finally settled into what will be the final copy of myself, I seem to find out I'm only still a rough draft. Truthfully, I'll share a secret with you (and this is just between us, so shhhhhhhhhh!!)...I wouldn't have it any other way. I think if we ever stop changing and evolving, we might as well hang it up. It's when old age sets in...it's when you become stagnant.

I may be a tiny bit opinionated. My views on some things shift as the world changes, while other deep rooted beliefs stay the same. I have so many thoughts rolling around in my head that need to be shared without censor, pure and unfettered from expectations of others.

So, I'M the one getting to know ME...again.

Wait Just a Pea Pickin' Minute!! - July 14th, 2008

Some of you are aware that I have a certain affection for a damned Yankee and regularly immerse myself in travels to the great north for an infusion of ummm..Northern hospitality (yeah, we'll go with that). Now while male/female interactions in and of themselves can be a bit of a challenge in the best of circumstances, throw in a few regional and cultural differences and at times, it's not only like we are from Mars and Venus..but from different galaxies altogether as well. (mine, of COURSE, being the totally normal, sane universe and his being full of nuts, but I digress)

Now, while I can be and often am, an intellectual snot most of the time in regard to grammar or in my manner of speech, there are times..albeit few and far between..when my Southern roots and upbringing take over. (I know, it's a great shock...stick with me on this) It seems that when I get excited, agitated or irritated, I can become a tiny bit regional in the way I express myself. Apparently during these times, I might have an itty bitty tendency to utter a phrase or two that those living above the Mason Dixon line do not employ in their day to day communications.
I know, I know!! It's hard to imagine, but amazingly true. Different areas of the country have trouble understanding the true meaning behind some of our more beloved phrases. Personally, I think we are simply a descriptive, imaginative group of people that just choose to use particularly apt colorful words to express ourselves. I just don't see where the confusion comes from. In my eyes, we're very easy to understand! Fiddle-dee-dee!

I always know that I've managed to befuddle the poor man and crossed the communication great divide when I hear a silence on the other end of the phone line, or when I've sent a text message and finally get a reply questioning my sanity. (of course, to be fair, he tends to question my sanity with frequent regularity even when I'm making perfect sense) If I'm being totally honest, I will admit that at times (not often, mind you), when I'm visiting New York and Connecticut..I "might" turn on my Southerness a bit more just for effect. I just can't help it. It becomes almost a challenge to take some of the stoic out of those that need a stick-ectomy (for those of you that can't figure that one out, taking the stick out of one's butt and learning to laugh at one's self rather than being so serious all the time) Besides, I'm constantly fielding requests to just "say something" so they can hear my "cute little accent" *rolling my eyes*. So, being the belle I am..I oblige them in my own sweet little innocent way!

So today, I send a perfectly innocent little text message..something along the lines of "I swanny (and yes that actual IS a word, albeit a Southern one, you Yankee smartass..she says with great affection) I am going to have to kill you yet..wink" Okay, that isn't along the lines of, that IS the actual text message. There is silence for about 5 minutes, then I get this in return from said Yankee.."What the HELL kind of word is that??" From there I sent the definition of the word "swanny" along with using it in what I thought was a great sentence that entailed describing a certain body part that can be truthfully declared as something I find VERY appealing. (for those of you that don't know, the definition of swanny is to declare or swear) I'll let y'all use your massive imaginations to fill in the blanks or construct your own sentences...I don't text and tell.

It must take very little to amuse me, because I was literally laughing out loud and not in a emoticon type of way, in a way that made everyone on the train from the airport look at me like I had lost my mind. I hate to tell them, but I misplaced any sanity I had a long, LONG time ago and have found I don't miss my mind at all anymore. I'm better off without it and fixin' to get even more outrageous with age. I want to be a "character" when I grow up. (i.e.-"She's a real character, isn't she?")

Now I ask you...if you hear these phrases, wouldn't they bring to mind a picture that is MUCH more descriptive and easy to understand than conventional speech?

"she was as ugly as the backside of a barn"... or

"you look like you've been ridden hard and put up wet"...

"It smells like something done crawled up here and died!" or

"that girl needs some meat on her bones, bless her heart"...

"we're smack dab in the middle of something good"

********************************************************************

I know, by now you're all fit to be tied and bless your hearts, probably in a tizzy..but butter my buns and call me a biscuit..I just don't think this is such a conundrum. Dang, most of you are as wild as all get out and this ain't your first rodeo..so go with the flow and get yourself all gussied up. Good Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, tomorrow is another day.

Don't go throwing a hissy fit, it's not worth getting in a pickle over! Daggumit, Lawd have mercy! Goodness gracious and shoot fire, it ain't nothing that can't be fixed with a glass of sweet tea...join me on the porch and we'll mull it over. Butter would melt in my mouth when I set my mind to somethin'!

Have a good 'un and y'all come on back by, you hear? *wink*

Now I ask you...HOW simple is that?? It's JUST simple english!

*************************************************************************************

(for the record, this particular bit of writing sent the spell check into a tizzy of it's own, apparently IT doesn't speak plain, simple English either!!)

These ARE the Good Old Days, Learn To Appreciate Them

Anticipation.

Function: noun

1 the act of looking forward; especially : pleasurable expectation
2 visualization of a future event or state

These are just a couple of the benign definitions of the word "anticipation", the clinical version of the word. We learn from an early age to anticipate events in our lives, both good and bad. We start to look forward in life and not backward. The butterfly feeling in the stomach, the feeling of being on pins and needles, hoping that time will hurry and pass so that we can get to the "good" stuff, you know the feeling. I have personally learned to love and to enjoy that time, to find ways to heighten it, so that when what I've been yearning for is happening, it's not merely good, but great...memorable.

When we are young, we learn to look forward to special treats. Remember the feeling of waking up on a summer's day and knowing that "sometime" during the course of the afternoon, the ice cream truck might make a trip through your neighborhood? You prepared for it. Made sure that you alerted Mom to the possibility that you'd need money at a moment's notice. You stayed almost on point, listening for the bell that heralded it's arrival. You looked forward when you were young to any special treat promised for good behavior. Vacations or trips were planned and before you ever loaded up the car to head out, there had been weeks of preparation and sleepless nights when you absolutely couldn't wait to leave and get started on your adventure.

If we are really clever, as we get older and travel along life's paths, we learn how to use anticipation to draw out the time prior to good events we know are upcoming. We use anticipation almost as foreplay in the days leading up to special times we hope to cherish and remember always. We think about what special unexpected things might happen. We ponder the variables that could either enhance or detract from our experience. We dream of what might be, both when we are awake and sleeping. The time seems to crawl, but by the same token...that in itself can be delicious in piquing the senses if done correctly. We anticipate...we feel fully alive. It's exciting, it's vital to life to look forward to things.

We look forward to our first love, our first kiss. We look forward (hopefully) to our wedding. The birth of our first child is a time of worry, joy and hope...that doesn't diminish with all the children that follow. We look forward to special vacations, to graduations. We anticipate new jobs and new relationships...to anniversaries and to new homes. So many things to look forward to and absolutely savor if we pay attention...if we don't try wish our lives away and hope that the time flies rather than enjoying the journey to get there, using it as a part of the good part.

Some of us remember when Carly Simon brought the word Anticipation to life in a song. She gave it texture and locked it in our minds, it was a theme song for many teenagers and 20 somethings as to what our lives would hold. (Of course, this was BEFORE the song was forever linked to ketchup slowly oozing it's way out to give us something thick and tasty to eat) Okay, back to my basic point...learn to feel anticipation again. There are no guarantees in life of how something will turn out...look forward to the possibilities anyway. Keep that childlike magic alive of wanting and yearning for something that is to come so that you don't grow old and stagnant in your life. Don't over plan or try to regiment every detail as we tend to do as adults...try going with the flow and letting your dreams guide you. Take chances, go after the things that are important or rare without fear or second guessing...trust your intuition.

LET yourself feel the butterflies. Be on pins and needles, laugh out loud or share secrets with someone. Daydream and "feel" what is to come. Want it, need it, embrace that special time beforehand...then enjoy the heck out of the actual event. Learn to live in the moment now and then when you can...when the times call for it. Let go and give yourself permission to reach out and grab what you need or want. Take the time for yourself...trust me...it's important. Don't miss out on life by always choosing what is safe or expected. Take a few chances along the way, you just might find they pay off.

It's amazing how time really does fly and the thing you've looked forward to, does indeed arrive in it's own time. Spectacularly.

I Believe-Life Affirmations To Live By

I Believe...

I believe in personal accountability and that there are consequences for our actions, good and bad. If you can't handle that and teach your children those lessons as well, turn in your membership to adulthood now. I might also suggest you not have any more children since you are obviously still one yourself.

I believe there are certain people that will soothe your soul, but excite the holy heck out of the rest of you. Don't ever settle for less.

I believe that rainy days are entirely necessary and not simply to provide water.

I believe in love. It is however, not a fairy tale or ever perfect...and will not always have a happy ending, TRUE love between two people meant to find each other does exist. Life will intrude and muck it up at times due to circumstances that happened before you met, love them anyway if they are truly "the one". It can work out , even if you can't fathom how at the moment. One thing is certain, you'll never know if you don't try. The future is fluid and uncertain. Don't ever take something rare and special for granted. Never lose a connection with those that matter, even if it's scary or not what you had planned.

I belive you don't get unlimited chances at life. Even if it doesn't work out in the end, you won't have missed out on happiness. You just might be pleasantly surprised..life is meant to be an adventure, not a spectator sport. Never settle for duty and responsibility over possible happiness, even it's messy or complicated..recognize it's worth and value. Life changes as we move through it and so do we all. Adjust and realize everything will be okay, whatever the outcome, even if we make changes...the world will keep spinning.

I believe that whomever decides to schedule major road reconstruction during rush hours on the interstate systems, should be tied naked to their resurfacing equipment and commuters should be issued paintball guns for target practice.

I believe that no matter how close you feel to a person online emotionally, it's not love until you and said person meet, look each other in the eye, talk, laugh and touch. Even then you have to realize some people will not be what you expected. All the more reason it's very important not to rush...some things are meant to be savored and anticipated. If it's real, time will enhance things, not degrade them. If you rush into something, be prepared for the possibility of problems you don't anticipate or failure. It's also a distinct possibility that you will let someone into your life that could be dangerous or bad for you. There IS no hurry for things that are meant to be.

I believe that as we age, our metabolism should speed UP, not slow down. I mean, give us "mature" people a break, we've earned it! We're already dealing with wrinkles, bad eyes, joints that betray us, etc. The least the grand design could have done is make it possible to eat anything we want and still fit in our pants.

I believe in manners and chivalry. I like having doors opened for me or to have a man lift heavy items and kill bugs, even when I can do it myself. I like being the female..feminists be damned. They did none of us any favors. Men and women are NOT created equally. We are meant to compliment each others weaknesses, not be the same.

I believe if you love someone, tell them...often...even if you think they already know it, say it anyway. At times, shout it from the rooftops or whisper it when it's unexpected. It's important.

I believe that it's essential to be silly now and then. We all need to let ourselves feel like kids again or to just spout nonsense. As adults, we have to deal with stress and serious issues frequently. MAKE time to just be ridiculous without intent.

I believe that anyone that can make you smile and lighten your mood, when you didn't think you were capable of laughing, is a keeper.

I believe in discretion and not necessarily airing ALL your dirty laundry to anyone with ears or eyes to read it. While it is fine and even necessary so that you won't go nuts to have a core group of those that support you...those to whom you dish the dirt and gory details to everything that makes you angry or hurts you...try to take the high road in public now and then.

I believe in supporting and respecting the office of the President, no matter who is holding the job at the time. It is a thankless job where you can't please anyone long term..one I wouldn't want to subject my private life or family to the scrutiny of. You are free to disagree with their politics, but when you resort to ridiculous name calling or personal attacks on the person themselves holding the office, you've crossed a line. Quite frankly it says a lot more about you and your ignorance, than it does about whatever you're disagreeing with. Intelligent debate is a good thing. Schoolyard bullying is just spectacularly unimpressive.

I believe in Patriotism and our country...in standing up for our rights as Americans without worrying about offending everyone in the world. In the same vein as the comment above, I believe that pride in our country is becoming silenced. It is a crying shame when we are embarrassed to have pride in our own country and be vocal it...much less enforce our own laws that put legal citizens first. If you pay taxes and came into the country the correct, legal way...I'm glad you're here, welcome. Heck, most American families have enough trouble getting their children a break on college tuition or for that matter getting a driver's license without 40 forms of ID and those are the people born here. I believe that laws should be followed and things done the right way.

I believe that English should be our National Language and you have to know it to become a citizen or live here. I'd learn your language if I lived in your country. I believe in flying the Stars and Bars proudly and supporting our military and their families with vigor.

I believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. If we stop believing in things that spark our imagination or in possibilities we can't see...things that bring out our childhood innocence, enthusiasm or excitement, we might as well be dead.

I believe in letting at least one person in your life, know you inside out. Someone you let know all of your fears, your hopes, your dreams, your shortcomings, your concerns, your opinions...without fear of judgment and with total honesty, no walls in place. It takes courage to strip your soul raw with someone else, to put light on all your secret places, but with the right person..it makes all the difference. If you do not have such a person, don't give up until you find them, but don't settle. They, in return...have to open themselves up to you totally as well. It cannot be one-sided.

I believe in learning something new..big or small..each and every day of our lives.

I believe that Political Correctness is a crock of horse dooky. Using tact is fine and even desired in most situations. So is learning to ignore what is said and getting over it. Grow a thicker skin and realize that not everyone is going to like or agree with you. For that matter, just grow the heck up.

I believe in the Golden Rule, treat others as you want to be treated. If others do not follow it in regard to your feelings, move on and find those that will without looking back.

I believe that we should freely allow kickball, dodge ball, and Red Rover on playgrounds across America and in schools. We are doing our children no favors by "teaching" them that if life they will never lose, that they should never have their feelings hurt and if you don't like the game, just quit. That's not real life and it will slap them in the face someday.

I believe that green M & M's taste the best.

I believe that saying "rabbit, rabbit, rabbit" on the first day of each month (It also has to be the first thing you say) will bring luck for the month.

I believe that at times, pasting a smile on your face, even when you don't feel like smiling...will lift your mood and possibly someone else's mood.

I believe in pulling yourself up by your bootstraps and getting a grip. You are allowed a day or two to wallow in self-pity when needed, but after that...it better turn into self-reflection, realistic assessment and in finding a way around whatever obstacle has you down. Quiet time in reflection is fine, constant pity parties are not. No one will ride up on a white horse and rescue you. If they did, they would probably be more like Don Quixote rather than Prince Charming anyway.

I believe in listening to those around you. Take 5 minutes out of your busy schedule to really hear what someone else has to say or what they need to say to another human being. Whether it be the clerk at the store, someone on the train, or a family member or friend...at times just be still and lend an ear. Lend an opinion only when asked...sometimes people just need to talk or vent.

I believe that you will at times be a sucky friend and will take more than you give. Your real friends will understand. They will always be there when you are ready to come back or will bug the crap out of you until you come around...as it should be. Then it will be their turn to implode and YOU get to be the good friend.

I believe in living your life to the fullest. It should be messy, not sedate. Full of energy, both good and bad, but not perfect. It should be full of ups and downs and curves..not a flat drive on an interstate (remember, the interstate is probably full of construction delays anyway *grin*). Live to learn and learn to live is very true. Make mistakes, then learn from them and make new ones.

I believe that Hollywood "role models", male and female...should put on panties (can't pull up your big girl panties if you're not wearing any), cover-up, quit procreating and be locked up away from alcohol, drugs and the media until they grow the heck up. We need to quit glamorizing these people to our children or letting the stars continue to believe we care what they think about politics, parenting or pouting beyond their ability to amuse us on screen. (which they "allow" us to make them rich by paying $10 a pop at the theater to sit through some of their drivel, btw...) You can also include a growing list of athletes that are being a total waste of skin and publicity, despite their natural talent to the list. To squander talent by being a weenie is a shame. You apparently cannot indeed make a silk purse out of a sows ear...or make them fixer-uppers by slapping a thin coat of paint on them, it starts to chip away eventually.

I believe we are made up of what we believe and what we stand for in life. If we are afraid to take a stand or to stand out, even occasionally, then we are taking up space and wasting time. Differences made in small ways are still very important. Not everything in life has to be a grand gesture to matter. The song that says "You've got to stand for something or you'll fall for anything." is very true.

I believe I've earned my wrinkles and wear them like badges of honor. They mean I've worried (more than I should have at times), I've smiled often..and that I've had many opportunities to love well. They mean that I'm alive and living my life.

Reality, The Final Frontier...What a Concept!

In life, there will come a time when you have to admit a few things to yourself...if you dare. The sheer force of your will is not enough. You can only do what YOU can do in situations, both in your life or in events that concern you...but ultimately you cannot make anyone else do the things you think they should or the things you need for them to do for your peace of mind. You cannot control everything around you all the time. There will be situations in which you have to trust enough and go with your gut feeling or let someone else take the lead, even if you believe it's not the shortest path to where you need to go or you can't see the outcome from the start. You will fail from time to time, and if you don't...then you're not playing fair somewhere along the line.

Even someone that loves you or that you love with all your heart, will at times disappoint or hurt you. It's up to you to decide what you do about it and whether the hurt is a temporary and sometimes necessary curve in the journey, or whether it's a detour that won't ever lead to where you want to be. If the person is truly important to you and your life, weigh these choices carefully before you act. Some bridges can never be recrossed once they are traveled over. There will be times though, when enough is enough. Learn the difference.

Not every day will be a good one. Some days will swing from the highest highs to the lowest lows with remarkable speed simply because of an unexpected phrase or thoughtless comment expressed from someone you trust, love or depend on. These comments are probably not thought twice about, much less ever meant to upset you. Try to remember that hurt feelings are not fatal.

Remember when someone acts in ways that confound or confuse you out of the blue, that they might in fact be coming from a place of fear themselves and their behavior is a protective measure on their part. Don't always make it about yourself. Stop to consider what else may be going on beneath the surface and why. Also stop to remember why they are in your life in the first place and that you want them there for a reason.

Tell or show people how important they are to you often...just because, and don't expect it in return or be hurt if the people around you don't always do the same to you. Love and respect can't be mandated or scheduled for others by you. At times love is only a silent player much like the wind...some days it's a gale, some days a mere breeze. You can feel it in every fiber of your being without always having to have flashy demonstrations of it's existence. Learn to appreciate all the subtle nuances of it's presence as well..they are just as precious..at times more so.

People love and express love in their own unique, individual ways. None of these ways are perfect, nor can be judged as right or wrong. Just because someone doesn't love you exactly the way you want them to, doesn't mean they aren't giving you all they are capable of giving. If it's not enough for YOU, it is then your problem..not theirs. Only you can decide to walk away or not at that point. Don't get involved with someone expecting to change them or for them to change for you. We females are notorious for this.

Whether you consider yourself religious, spiritual or a freak of nature that is on this Earth by mere coincidence of atoms colliding...the Good Book still has some common sense rules of humanity to live by. Treat others as you'd like to be treated...don't always envy what someone else has and take for granted the good things in your own life...and karma or fate or destiny (whatever you choose to call it) will indeed come full circle if you choose to tempt it too many times. Don't cry over spilt milk and don't assume that getting said milk without ever any commitment to the cow will be without consequences.

Bottom line, growing up is not for the faint of heart. Courage, responsibility and honor are not givens in your character, but developed by the way you choose to live your life and treat others.
Try not to be trivial or sleaze your way through life..make a difference where you can, while you can. Make your mark on this world instead of being like gum on the bottom of someones shoe.

If these simple common sense concepts are too much for your meager brain to handle or for your corrupt soul to fathom, then trust me...you won't have many people eager to spend time with you. Playing dumb or trying to be "cute" all the time without ever being real, wears thin quickly. Have some substance and backbone in all that you do, even during play.
Learn to make a difference.

Begin with you.

Emotionally Unavailable, Irresistible and Fabulous

Females are taught from birth, that men are supposed to be the pursuers, while women are supposed to be coy, quiet, and apprehensive. As nature has made us, women tend to be sexually selective and play hard to get, while men fight each other for the reproductive opportunities we offer them in order to make sure the species survives. Women are therefore presumed to be predestined as the picky sex and men have the role of winning them over with their worth and charm. Winning them over that is, when they're not too busy being aloof and calling the shots as to the tempo in the relationship. Well, at least that's what many biological and evolutionary theorists argue anyway. Personally, I think they might all have been dropped on their heads at birth, but that's a debate for another time.I've recently discovered another itty bitty well kept secret in the relationship wheel of fortune...a nugget of wisdom that will aid many travelers on the road not taken...the art of being Emotionally Unavailable, or EU for short.

"You should bottle this emotional unavailability thing...it's better than perfume and a mini-skirt for attracting men and getting noticed." Such was a friend's reaction to the flood of attention I received from men at one point in time, all because for a year or more, I became completely, utterly, totally emotionally unavailable (EU). The results of this emotional "scent" have been rather baffling to my friends. After all, isn't it men who are usually the emotionally unavailable gender? Aren't we females supposed to be giving THEM signals that we are interested instead of giving off an essence that we're not?

When it comes to being EU however, we're not talking about being selective or playing hard to get. (and if that's your game, know that playing hard to get DOES NOT work.) Men have equally strong opinions of the hard-to-get as they do of the easy-to-get women. Your best strategy is to play selectively hard-to-get if you really want a guy. This kind of woman is always the most popular among men if she knows how to use such strategies in a skillful way...think seduction and discretion. The thing with the emotionally unavailable woman is that she really and truly DOESN'T care if she's involved with anyone...she really has no need for a relationship at the moment and would rather focus on other things. She's either too busy, too tired, being pulled in too many directions, or has recently been too emotionally burnt or scarred to have the desire to play or engage in any games, pursuit, or selection process.

The irony of all this becomes, when a woman is truly emotionally unavailable, the men start dropping like flies. In a lot of ways, this woman is now his dream girl. Amongst the flock of women throwing themselves at him, not only does she present a challenge (something men love), but she also offers no threat of things getting too emotional or heavy any time too soon. Furthermore, she's not frigid, mean, or impossible to get along with due to mood swings, she just doesn't care where things go or what happens..she's politely detached. She has no agenda, no mission to get a ring on her finger, no vision of him meeting her parents, no plans to start popping out babies anytime soon, if ever... you get the picture.

So how does one become emotionally unavailable? While there are tons of ways to become "EU," I thought I'd start with the Top 5 suggestions for achieving your goal:

1. Stay busy, maintaining a jam-packed schedule. If you don't have the time to think about relationships, then they can't become a priority and you are less likely to stress over your status. This will make you less likely to respond to his email or return his phone call, at least any time soon. Ultimately, you'll stay on his radar longer because you're not giving him your full attention from the get-go and are in the driver's seat in whether or not things will happen.

2. Travel, a lot if possible. People who are always on the road (or in the air) have difficulty maintaining any kind of relationship. The fact that you're always out of town will excuse you from not being overly attentive to a beau, but not rule out any potential. You just don't have the time to get serious right now, literally. You avoid dealing him an ego bruise, which will keep the door open. This tip will also make it easier to avoid even starting a relationship in the first place, if that is what makes things easier.

3. Go on a relationship hiatus. Make a pledge to yourself that for the next "X" weeks or months, you will only be involved with yourself, taking the time to do everything you've been wanting to do to better yourself, take care of yourself, and love yourself. This will help you deflect any eager beaver attempts on his part until you're ready for them, upping the anticipation for him. This may be lonely, especially in the dark hours of the night when your mind has time to think..but in the long run will do a lot of good if you decide to come out of hiatus. You'll be more prepared to start something new with no residual baggage.

4. Throw yourself into a long-term project. Choose to write a book or screenplay, plot world domination, move or redecorate your house, do something which will demand 99% of your attention and focus. When you finally DO make the time to surface for some fun, make sure your friends get first dibs on your remaining 1%. Any males can join your posse in tow if they're up for it. It's the only way you can "squeeze" him in.

5. Look dynamite whenever you go out. If you're giving off the aura that you could care less if you meet somebody, men will be even more intrigued that you're all dolled up, but for whom? What purpose does this serve, he will wonder. What does this woman have going on that I need to know about? An air of mystery is always sexy and alluring...and the best part is, you could really care less at this point. You're not playing hard to get, you ARE hard to get. It's more alluring than any other lure you can imagine.


Of course, being emotionally unavailable "should" only happen for random periods of time in a perfect world. For some of us, it's permanent after a while if we keep up the shields for too long. You have to realize that at some point if you want to not be alone, you will have to emerge from the self-imposed hiatus and take a chance on life and love again. After a while, you'll have so many men falling at your feet that you'll be forced to begin to entertain the thought of getting involved with at least one of them a little more seriously. In the meantime, see being EU as a way to focus on yourself, tend to the non-relationship needs in your life, and as a means to let guys come after you. You may be surprised by the end result.