Why Waste a Good Crisis...

...when you can create widespread comic relief and chaos instead??







Let's put aside for the moment the pure idiocy and symbolism of giving a button to push, much less a RED button to the Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov as her opening salvo into discussions of US-Russian relations. Ummmm..HELLO?? How in heaven's name do translators get the intended word "Reset" somehow confused with "Overcharge"??? Where were the proofreading skills that I make even my kindergarten students practice? Perhaps a Freudian slip.


Let's totally disregard the fact that just last week it was leaked, rumored, whatever..that President Obama sent a letter a few weeks ago offering to put the brakes on or totally abandon the missile shield program overseas if Russia would "help" us in persuading Iran to play nice and give up their dangerous toys (can't have them putting anyone's eye out, now can we??)


Then our illustrious Hope and Change administration also managed to alienate British Prime Minister Gordon Brown and in the process look cartoonish, when in an epic (can't do anything small, now can we?) thoughtless gesture, gave him plastic gift shop helicopters and a DVD collection of American movies in exchange for a few priceless "trinkets" that he and his country bestowed on our new best hope. I guess Walmart didn't have any of the "As Seen on TV" products in stock to sweeten the gift pot.


I know what you're thinking...obviously DVDs and plastic helicopters stack up SO well with an ornamental desk pen-holder made from the oak timbers of the Victorian anti-slaver HMS Gannet, once named HMS President for the Resolute desk in the Oval office...the framed commission for HMS Resolute, a vessel that came to symbolise Anglo-US peace when it was saved from ice packs by Americans and given to Queen Victoria...and a first edition set of the seven-volume classic biography of Churchill by Sir Martin Gilbert. They also brought thoughtful handpicked gifts for the first girls.


The Obamas in turn, managed to treat the Gordons like the relative you see once a year at Christmas and use the last pennies of your gift budget to grab something on clearance...and in the process snub one of our staunchest allies. Mission Accomplished, Mr. President!! Please keep making us proud! Why not just give them a gift card while you're at it. At least that might have stimulated the economy in some way if they redeemed it.


When the Obama administration touted the fact that they were going to boost our reputation on the world stage again, I didn't think they meant the comedy stage. The world is starting to snicker at the United States and beginning to fall off the adoration bandwagon. The pedestals are being put away in favor of feet of clay.


The resounding chorus coming from the top...starting with Rahm Emanuel and echoed by Hillary Clinton this week...

~“Never waste a good crisis,” Clinton told a hearing at the European Parliament.
“And when it comes to the economic crisis, don’t waste it when it can have a
very positive impact on climate change and energy security.” … “This is a
propitious time … we can actually begin to demonstrate our willingness to
confront this. We are making up the best we can for lost time,” she
added.~

...when in the middle of a worldwide economic meltdown is chilling if you pay attention. Focus is being absolutely lost on the important immediate economic domestic issues in favor of cramming every single piece of expensive pet agendas through on the coattails of each piece of legislation being considered. Heck, ignore the fact that we are hemorrhaging money, let's revamp health care and give everyone a pig in a poke while we're at it!! Oh wait, those pigs probably cause global warming and might be construed as pork or need lipstick...better make it tainted peanut butter instead!!! Yeah, that's the ticket! That will build respect for us around the world!


Hold on to your goodie bags, it appears to be Howdie Doodie Time again!


Bless their hearts.

"Obama inherited a disaster and has created a catastrophe." Ann Coulter

I'm Not Worried...

I’m not worried about what President Obama is going to do “for” me..I’m worried about what the current administration is going to do “TO” me..”TO” our country and “TO” our freedoms. I realize that my way of thinking is a big difference from the people waiting in line for all the ways that the country can relieve them of all personal responsibility and save them. I realize, to my dismay, that I’m fast becoming the minority in our country.

I was raised to believe that life isn’t meant to be a cakewalk and always easy. We seem to be quickly becoming a nation of those that expect no consequences for poor personal decisions. We are becoming a nation of people that don’t know how to fail and then pick themselves up and find ways to be better than before. We are quickly becoming a nation of people that expect something for nothing in a bottomless all-you-can eat buffet of handouts and bailouts.

Where does it all stop? I used to think that things would hit bottom and we’d recover and be stronger than ever. It’s always been the American way..the dogged determination to find ways to succeed. It’s what has made our country unique over the decades. Our country was founded by those that left a hard life with little to no possibility for personal freedoms or growth and left all that they knew for an uncertain future where they could be in control of their own destiny.

I’m now not so sure there is a bottom to find. I get up each morning and check the headlines. It’s like we are in some bizarre loop as was portrayed in “Groundhog Day” and events just keep repeating over and over again..with more and more desperate flailing to try and stop the freefall.

Here’s a concept. Just stop.

Breathe.

Slow down and think first before simply reacting blindly without a clear direction.

Know that we are all going to hurt and not live charmed lives for a while. Let the American spirit that I still believe to be present in a lot of the population, albeit undrawn upon in recent years..to rekindle and resurface. Realize that life has changed, deal with it, and find ways to make it better. Will it be easy? Of course not! So many have forgotten or never learned in the first place that easy things are seldom as precious as those we fight or work for.

We need to not be ruled by fear and desperation that would lead to making hasty ill-advised decisions without thinking first. We need to learn to once again stand up on our own two feet and improvise when things get tough. While thankfully it’s not the case right now…I have known personally and lived through the uncertainty and fear of being without a job and wondering how you will provide for a family and pay bills and at times even meet the basic needs of food or health care. It purely sucks. I have always known how to “make do” with what is available and when the times aren’t as good, how to find ways to survive.

It’s a lost art that is going to have to be relearned by some and learned for the first time by many others. So many need to learn to not count on the government to bail them out or rescue them..to instead learn again how to depend on themselves.

The times and era of overindulgence and excess are over..perhaps for good. The world has changed in fundamental ways which will effect our way of life in this country as well. We all profited and benefited in ways large and small during the bountiful years and we are all going to hurt to some degree in the years to come.

Life has changed as we know it. It’s up to all of us to find ways to make it an adventure and to succeed. It will be difficult and at times purely terrifying. That is part of living..as uncomfortable and unwanted as some parts of that life can be, there are always bright spots to be found and cherished if you take the time to look for them. If you stop expecting rescue and readjust your thinking to realize each day is a new opportunity. Every day is different. The next day may be just as lousy as the one before, but it will be different with different opportunities to make a change or a difference. The next day is rarely always just as bad. Sometimes the good might be minuscule in it’s scope, but it’s there if you look for it.

We are Americans. We are NOT due or promised a charmed life. We ARE promised our freedoms and the ability to make our own decisions as to what is best for our own families.

We need to remember that..find our courage and our bootstraps..and start pulling OURSELVES up.

I for one, don’t want to have to depend on the kindness of others for my day to day existence. While I’m not above asking for help if it’s a matter of survival or life and death, I’m also not afraid of struggle and hardship. It makes the good times sweeter when they come..and they will come eventually. Those good times may not be exactly as we envisioned…but savor them anyway.

Learn how to be proud Americans again and not a wimpy nation of those waiting and expecting to be taken care of by others. Learn to deal with hardship and be innovative and inventive. It’s the American way that has been lost.

Fight to get it back. Don’t wait for others to do the work and think that you can’t possibly make a difference. Learn to be the ONE person you can always count on. Trust yourself and realize that this too will all pass. The better times may not arrive on our schedule or be exactly what we imagined, but...

There ARE better days ahead for us all.

Getting To Know ME

I know, the illustrious title of the blog suggests that I might be about to write yet another one of the totally boring, completely predictable blogs found everywhere online these days. You know the ones, they are designed to explore inner angst and share every minute detail of a person's life with any total stranger that stumbles across their humble little area of cyberspace. While it's true that somewhere along the line throughout anything I might chose to write on this site, a reader might glean a smidgen of a peek into what makes me tick or into my day to day life, I see no reason to "introduce" myself in great detail here. Where's the fun in that?

In this fast paced, hurry up and wait world we live in, there is no sense of mystery or anticipation anymore. It's an all out, instant gratification, short attention spanned existence developing around us. I, for one..don't buy into it. I know I'm no spring chicken anymore, but I'm not a dinosaur either. There have to be other so-called "adults" that feel the same way.
I do see glimmers here and there that indicate there are still non-sheep amongst us. Granted, given an article I saw the other day that quoted statistics about the number of Facebook and MySpace users vs. those that see no need to have said pages is dramatically tilted in favor of those that have joined the growing throngs of those that participate, I do admit I'm now in the official minority. I just don't feel the need to have 4000 of my closest friends be people I've never met in real life..or to have the people I DO know in person, become a blip on a computer screen or an instant message rather than spend actual face time with them. So much is lost in translation.

It's not that I'm not a geek or even remotely un-hip. I was a computer science major in the dark ages before it was cool to like computers (even BEFORE PC's were a glimmer in Bill Gates eye). I have always been able to program my own VCR (yes, I know they are obsolete now, but I COULD program one if I had to!). I have a smart phone that I can operate with ease. I know my way inside and out of programming and creating websites, I even used to be a web mistress and site designer. I fully appreciate the role that computers and the Internet allow us. I have 3 children in their teens and twenties that I have to keep up with. I teach school and am constantly exposed to the current trends, good and ridiculous. I am a flight attendant and run across people from every walk of life and get to interact with them. Did I mention that as a Southern female, I'm also a teensy bit outgoing and will talk your ear off given the chance?

By the same token, I see bits of society slipping away...parts I view as vitally important to our humanity. I'm all for change (well, truthfully not as much as I used to be..I seem to be slowly turning into my parents). Let's compromise and say I'm totally in favor of progress..as long as it is indeed progress and not instead hiding behind a wall of technology and isolation rather than living life. It's exciting to meet people from distances that you would never have the opportunity otherwise to ever cross paths with via the Internet. It opens up a whole new world of possibilities and knowledge about those around us.

What we must not do is allow that to evolve into our new version of reality. Regardless of the fact if you know a person's bathroom schedule or their deepest darkest secrets..if you haven't met them face to face and looked in their eyes..had a chance to reach out and touch them or smile at them in person and not via webcam..you DO NOT really know a person. It's too easy to hide behind our masks online. It's very easy to only share what we want shared and hide the rest of what makes one an individual. It's too tempting to only share what makes us look good or to play a part and invent ourselves rather than do the heavy lifting of explanations for behaviors that best online "friend" might not approve of.

I know this was a long-winded way to get back around to the main title of this blog.."Getting To Know ME". I've been on a journey of discovery the past few months due to the twists and turns of everyday life that one simply cannot anticipate. Every time I think I'm done changing or growing or have finally settled into what will be the final copy of myself, I seem to find out I'm only still a rough draft. Truthfully, I'll share a secret with you (and this is just between us, so shhhhhhhhhh!!)...I wouldn't have it any other way. I think if we ever stop changing and evolving, we might as well hang it up. It's when old age sets in...it's when you become stagnant.

I may be a tiny bit opinionated. My views on some things shift as the world changes, while other deep rooted beliefs stay the same. I have so many thoughts rolling around in my head that need to be shared without censor, pure and unfettered from expectations of others.

So, I'M the one getting to know ME...again.

Wait Just a Pea Pickin' Minute!! - July 14th, 2008

Some of you are aware that I have a certain affection for a damned Yankee and regularly immerse myself in travels to the great north for an infusion of ummm..Northern hospitality (yeah, we'll go with that). Now while male/female interactions in and of themselves can be a bit of a challenge in the best of circumstances, throw in a few regional and cultural differences and at times, it's not only like we are from Mars and Venus..but from different galaxies altogether as well. (mine, of COURSE, being the totally normal, sane universe and his being full of nuts, but I digress)

Now, while I can be and often am, an intellectual snot most of the time in regard to grammar or in my manner of speech, there are times..albeit few and far between..when my Southern roots and upbringing take over. (I know, it's a great shock...stick with me on this) It seems that when I get excited, agitated or irritated, I can become a tiny bit regional in the way I express myself. Apparently during these times, I might have an itty bitty tendency to utter a phrase or two that those living above the Mason Dixon line do not employ in their day to day communications.
I know, I know!! It's hard to imagine, but amazingly true. Different areas of the country have trouble understanding the true meaning behind some of our more beloved phrases. Personally, I think we are simply a descriptive, imaginative group of people that just choose to use particularly apt colorful words to express ourselves. I just don't see where the confusion comes from. In my eyes, we're very easy to understand! Fiddle-dee-dee!

I always know that I've managed to befuddle the poor man and crossed the communication great divide when I hear a silence on the other end of the phone line, or when I've sent a text message and finally get a reply questioning my sanity. (of course, to be fair, he tends to question my sanity with frequent regularity even when I'm making perfect sense) If I'm being totally honest, I will admit that at times (not often, mind you), when I'm visiting New York and Connecticut..I "might" turn on my Southerness a bit more just for effect. I just can't help it. It becomes almost a challenge to take some of the stoic out of those that need a stick-ectomy (for those of you that can't figure that one out, taking the stick out of one's butt and learning to laugh at one's self rather than being so serious all the time) Besides, I'm constantly fielding requests to just "say something" so they can hear my "cute little accent" *rolling my eyes*. So, being the belle I am..I oblige them in my own sweet little innocent way!

So today, I send a perfectly innocent little text message..something along the lines of "I swanny (and yes that actual IS a word, albeit a Southern one, you Yankee smartass..she says with great affection) I am going to have to kill you yet..wink" Okay, that isn't along the lines of, that IS the actual text message. There is silence for about 5 minutes, then I get this in return from said Yankee.."What the HELL kind of word is that??" From there I sent the definition of the word "swanny" along with using it in what I thought was a great sentence that entailed describing a certain body part that can be truthfully declared as something I find VERY appealing. (for those of you that don't know, the definition of swanny is to declare or swear) I'll let y'all use your massive imaginations to fill in the blanks or construct your own sentences...I don't text and tell.

It must take very little to amuse me, because I was literally laughing out loud and not in a emoticon type of way, in a way that made everyone on the train from the airport look at me like I had lost my mind. I hate to tell them, but I misplaced any sanity I had a long, LONG time ago and have found I don't miss my mind at all anymore. I'm better off without it and fixin' to get even more outrageous with age. I want to be a "character" when I grow up. (i.e.-"She's a real character, isn't she?")

Now I ask you...if you hear these phrases, wouldn't they bring to mind a picture that is MUCH more descriptive and easy to understand than conventional speech?

"she was as ugly as the backside of a barn"... or

"you look like you've been ridden hard and put up wet"...

"It smells like something done crawled up here and died!" or

"that girl needs some meat on her bones, bless her heart"...

"we're smack dab in the middle of something good"

********************************************************************

I know, by now you're all fit to be tied and bless your hearts, probably in a tizzy..but butter my buns and call me a biscuit..I just don't think this is such a conundrum. Dang, most of you are as wild as all get out and this ain't your first rodeo..so go with the flow and get yourself all gussied up. Good Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, tomorrow is another day.

Don't go throwing a hissy fit, it's not worth getting in a pickle over! Daggumit, Lawd have mercy! Goodness gracious and shoot fire, it ain't nothing that can't be fixed with a glass of sweet tea...join me on the porch and we'll mull it over. Butter would melt in my mouth when I set my mind to somethin'!

Have a good 'un and y'all come on back by, you hear? *wink*

Now I ask you...HOW simple is that?? It's JUST simple english!

*************************************************************************************

(for the record, this particular bit of writing sent the spell check into a tizzy of it's own, apparently IT doesn't speak plain, simple English either!!)

These ARE the Good Old Days, Learn To Appreciate Them

Anticipation.

Function: noun

1 the act of looking forward; especially : pleasurable expectation
2 visualization of a future event or state

These are just a couple of the benign definitions of the word "anticipation", the clinical version of the word. We learn from an early age to anticipate events in our lives, both good and bad. We start to look forward in life and not backward. The butterfly feeling in the stomach, the feeling of being on pins and needles, hoping that time will hurry and pass so that we can get to the "good" stuff, you know the feeling. I have personally learned to love and to enjoy that time, to find ways to heighten it, so that when what I've been yearning for is happening, it's not merely good, but great...memorable.

When we are young, we learn to look forward to special treats. Remember the feeling of waking up on a summer's day and knowing that "sometime" during the course of the afternoon, the ice cream truck might make a trip through your neighborhood? You prepared for it. Made sure that you alerted Mom to the possibility that you'd need money at a moment's notice. You stayed almost on point, listening for the bell that heralded it's arrival. You looked forward when you were young to any special treat promised for good behavior. Vacations or trips were planned and before you ever loaded up the car to head out, there had been weeks of preparation and sleepless nights when you absolutely couldn't wait to leave and get started on your adventure.

If we are really clever, as we get older and travel along life's paths, we learn how to use anticipation to draw out the time prior to good events we know are upcoming. We use anticipation almost as foreplay in the days leading up to special times we hope to cherish and remember always. We think about what special unexpected things might happen. We ponder the variables that could either enhance or detract from our experience. We dream of what might be, both when we are awake and sleeping. The time seems to crawl, but by the same token...that in itself can be delicious in piquing the senses if done correctly. We anticipate...we feel fully alive. It's exciting, it's vital to life to look forward to things.

We look forward to our first love, our first kiss. We look forward (hopefully) to our wedding. The birth of our first child is a time of worry, joy and hope...that doesn't diminish with all the children that follow. We look forward to special vacations, to graduations. We anticipate new jobs and new relationships...to anniversaries and to new homes. So many things to look forward to and absolutely savor if we pay attention...if we don't try wish our lives away and hope that the time flies rather than enjoying the journey to get there, using it as a part of the good part.

Some of us remember when Carly Simon brought the word Anticipation to life in a song. She gave it texture and locked it in our minds, it was a theme song for many teenagers and 20 somethings as to what our lives would hold. (Of course, this was BEFORE the song was forever linked to ketchup slowly oozing it's way out to give us something thick and tasty to eat) Okay, back to my basic point...learn to feel anticipation again. There are no guarantees in life of how something will turn out...look forward to the possibilities anyway. Keep that childlike magic alive of wanting and yearning for something that is to come so that you don't grow old and stagnant in your life. Don't over plan or try to regiment every detail as we tend to do as adults...try going with the flow and letting your dreams guide you. Take chances, go after the things that are important or rare without fear or second guessing...trust your intuition.

LET yourself feel the butterflies. Be on pins and needles, laugh out loud or share secrets with someone. Daydream and "feel" what is to come. Want it, need it, embrace that special time beforehand...then enjoy the heck out of the actual event. Learn to live in the moment now and then when you can...when the times call for it. Let go and give yourself permission to reach out and grab what you need or want. Take the time for yourself...trust me...it's important. Don't miss out on life by always choosing what is safe or expected. Take a few chances along the way, you just might find they pay off.

It's amazing how time really does fly and the thing you've looked forward to, does indeed arrive in it's own time. Spectacularly.

I Believe-Life Affirmations To Live By

I Believe...

I believe in personal accountability and that there are consequences for our actions, good and bad. If you can't handle that and teach your children those lessons as well, turn in your membership to adulthood now. I might also suggest you not have any more children since you are obviously still one yourself.

I believe there are certain people that will soothe your soul, but excite the holy heck out of the rest of you. Don't ever settle for less.

I believe that rainy days are entirely necessary and not simply to provide water.

I believe in love. It is however, not a fairy tale or ever perfect...and will not always have a happy ending, TRUE love between two people meant to find each other does exist. Life will intrude and muck it up at times due to circumstances that happened before you met, love them anyway if they are truly "the one". It can work out , even if you can't fathom how at the moment. One thing is certain, you'll never know if you don't try. The future is fluid and uncertain. Don't ever take something rare and special for granted. Never lose a connection with those that matter, even if it's scary or not what you had planned.

I belive you don't get unlimited chances at life. Even if it doesn't work out in the end, you won't have missed out on happiness. You just might be pleasantly surprised..life is meant to be an adventure, not a spectator sport. Never settle for duty and responsibility over possible happiness, even it's messy or complicated..recognize it's worth and value. Life changes as we move through it and so do we all. Adjust and realize everything will be okay, whatever the outcome, even if we make changes...the world will keep spinning.

I believe that whomever decides to schedule major road reconstruction during rush hours on the interstate systems, should be tied naked to their resurfacing equipment and commuters should be issued paintball guns for target practice.

I believe that no matter how close you feel to a person online emotionally, it's not love until you and said person meet, look each other in the eye, talk, laugh and touch. Even then you have to realize some people will not be what you expected. All the more reason it's very important not to rush...some things are meant to be savored and anticipated. If it's real, time will enhance things, not degrade them. If you rush into something, be prepared for the possibility of problems you don't anticipate or failure. It's also a distinct possibility that you will let someone into your life that could be dangerous or bad for you. There IS no hurry for things that are meant to be.

I believe that as we age, our metabolism should speed UP, not slow down. I mean, give us "mature" people a break, we've earned it! We're already dealing with wrinkles, bad eyes, joints that betray us, etc. The least the grand design could have done is make it possible to eat anything we want and still fit in our pants.

I believe in manners and chivalry. I like having doors opened for me or to have a man lift heavy items and kill bugs, even when I can do it myself. I like being the female..feminists be damned. They did none of us any favors. Men and women are NOT created equally. We are meant to compliment each others weaknesses, not be the same.

I believe if you love someone, tell them...often...even if you think they already know it, say it anyway. At times, shout it from the rooftops or whisper it when it's unexpected. It's important.

I believe that it's essential to be silly now and then. We all need to let ourselves feel like kids again or to just spout nonsense. As adults, we have to deal with stress and serious issues frequently. MAKE time to just be ridiculous without intent.

I believe that anyone that can make you smile and lighten your mood, when you didn't think you were capable of laughing, is a keeper.

I believe in discretion and not necessarily airing ALL your dirty laundry to anyone with ears or eyes to read it. While it is fine and even necessary so that you won't go nuts to have a core group of those that support you...those to whom you dish the dirt and gory details to everything that makes you angry or hurts you...try to take the high road in public now and then.

I believe in supporting and respecting the office of the President, no matter who is holding the job at the time. It is a thankless job where you can't please anyone long term..one I wouldn't want to subject my private life or family to the scrutiny of. You are free to disagree with their politics, but when you resort to ridiculous name calling or personal attacks on the person themselves holding the office, you've crossed a line. Quite frankly it says a lot more about you and your ignorance, than it does about whatever you're disagreeing with. Intelligent debate is a good thing. Schoolyard bullying is just spectacularly unimpressive.

I believe in Patriotism and our country...in standing up for our rights as Americans without worrying about offending everyone in the world. In the same vein as the comment above, I believe that pride in our country is becoming silenced. It is a crying shame when we are embarrassed to have pride in our own country and be vocal it...much less enforce our own laws that put legal citizens first. If you pay taxes and came into the country the correct, legal way...I'm glad you're here, welcome. Heck, most American families have enough trouble getting their children a break on college tuition or for that matter getting a driver's license without 40 forms of ID and those are the people born here. I believe that laws should be followed and things done the right way.

I believe that English should be our National Language and you have to know it to become a citizen or live here. I'd learn your language if I lived in your country. I believe in flying the Stars and Bars proudly and supporting our military and their families with vigor.

I believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. If we stop believing in things that spark our imagination or in possibilities we can't see...things that bring out our childhood innocence, enthusiasm or excitement, we might as well be dead.

I believe in letting at least one person in your life, know you inside out. Someone you let know all of your fears, your hopes, your dreams, your shortcomings, your concerns, your opinions...without fear of judgment and with total honesty, no walls in place. It takes courage to strip your soul raw with someone else, to put light on all your secret places, but with the right person..it makes all the difference. If you do not have such a person, don't give up until you find them, but don't settle. They, in return...have to open themselves up to you totally as well. It cannot be one-sided.

I believe in learning something new..big or small..each and every day of our lives.

I believe that Political Correctness is a crock of horse dooky. Using tact is fine and even desired in most situations. So is learning to ignore what is said and getting over it. Grow a thicker skin and realize that not everyone is going to like or agree with you. For that matter, just grow the heck up.

I believe in the Golden Rule, treat others as you want to be treated. If others do not follow it in regard to your feelings, move on and find those that will without looking back.

I believe that we should freely allow kickball, dodge ball, and Red Rover on playgrounds across America and in schools. We are doing our children no favors by "teaching" them that if life they will never lose, that they should never have their feelings hurt and if you don't like the game, just quit. That's not real life and it will slap them in the face someday.

I believe that green M & M's taste the best.

I believe that saying "rabbit, rabbit, rabbit" on the first day of each month (It also has to be the first thing you say) will bring luck for the month.

I believe that at times, pasting a smile on your face, even when you don't feel like smiling...will lift your mood and possibly someone else's mood.

I believe in pulling yourself up by your bootstraps and getting a grip. You are allowed a day or two to wallow in self-pity when needed, but after that...it better turn into self-reflection, realistic assessment and in finding a way around whatever obstacle has you down. Quiet time in reflection is fine, constant pity parties are not. No one will ride up on a white horse and rescue you. If they did, they would probably be more like Don Quixote rather than Prince Charming anyway.

I believe in listening to those around you. Take 5 minutes out of your busy schedule to really hear what someone else has to say or what they need to say to another human being. Whether it be the clerk at the store, someone on the train, or a family member or friend...at times just be still and lend an ear. Lend an opinion only when asked...sometimes people just need to talk or vent.

I believe that you will at times be a sucky friend and will take more than you give. Your real friends will understand. They will always be there when you are ready to come back or will bug the crap out of you until you come around...as it should be. Then it will be their turn to implode and YOU get to be the good friend.

I believe in living your life to the fullest. It should be messy, not sedate. Full of energy, both good and bad, but not perfect. It should be full of ups and downs and curves..not a flat drive on an interstate (remember, the interstate is probably full of construction delays anyway *grin*). Live to learn and learn to live is very true. Make mistakes, then learn from them and make new ones.

I believe that Hollywood "role models", male and female...should put on panties (can't pull up your big girl panties if you're not wearing any), cover-up, quit procreating and be locked up away from alcohol, drugs and the media until they grow the heck up. We need to quit glamorizing these people to our children or letting the stars continue to believe we care what they think about politics, parenting or pouting beyond their ability to amuse us on screen. (which they "allow" us to make them rich by paying $10 a pop at the theater to sit through some of their drivel, btw...) You can also include a growing list of athletes that are being a total waste of skin and publicity, despite their natural talent to the list. To squander talent by being a weenie is a shame. You apparently cannot indeed make a silk purse out of a sows ear...or make them fixer-uppers by slapping a thin coat of paint on them, it starts to chip away eventually.

I believe we are made up of what we believe and what we stand for in life. If we are afraid to take a stand or to stand out, even occasionally, then we are taking up space and wasting time. Differences made in small ways are still very important. Not everything in life has to be a grand gesture to matter. The song that says "You've got to stand for something or you'll fall for anything." is very true.

I believe I've earned my wrinkles and wear them like badges of honor. They mean I've worried (more than I should have at times), I've smiled often..and that I've had many opportunities to love well. They mean that I'm alive and living my life.

Reality, The Final Frontier...What a Concept!

In life, there will come a time when you have to admit a few things to yourself...if you dare. The sheer force of your will is not enough. You can only do what YOU can do in situations, both in your life or in events that concern you...but ultimately you cannot make anyone else do the things you think they should or the things you need for them to do for your peace of mind. You cannot control everything around you all the time. There will be situations in which you have to trust enough and go with your gut feeling or let someone else take the lead, even if you believe it's not the shortest path to where you need to go or you can't see the outcome from the start. You will fail from time to time, and if you don't...then you're not playing fair somewhere along the line.

Even someone that loves you or that you love with all your heart, will at times disappoint or hurt you. It's up to you to decide what you do about it and whether the hurt is a temporary and sometimes necessary curve in the journey, or whether it's a detour that won't ever lead to where you want to be. If the person is truly important to you and your life, weigh these choices carefully before you act. Some bridges can never be recrossed once they are traveled over. There will be times though, when enough is enough. Learn the difference.

Not every day will be a good one. Some days will swing from the highest highs to the lowest lows with remarkable speed simply because of an unexpected phrase or thoughtless comment expressed from someone you trust, love or depend on. These comments are probably not thought twice about, much less ever meant to upset you. Try to remember that hurt feelings are not fatal.

Remember when someone acts in ways that confound or confuse you out of the blue, that they might in fact be coming from a place of fear themselves and their behavior is a protective measure on their part. Don't always make it about yourself. Stop to consider what else may be going on beneath the surface and why. Also stop to remember why they are in your life in the first place and that you want them there for a reason.

Tell or show people how important they are to you often...just because, and don't expect it in return or be hurt if the people around you don't always do the same to you. Love and respect can't be mandated or scheduled for others by you. At times love is only a silent player much like the wind...some days it's a gale, some days a mere breeze. You can feel it in every fiber of your being without always having to have flashy demonstrations of it's existence. Learn to appreciate all the subtle nuances of it's presence as well..they are just as precious..at times more so.

People love and express love in their own unique, individual ways. None of these ways are perfect, nor can be judged as right or wrong. Just because someone doesn't love you exactly the way you want them to, doesn't mean they aren't giving you all they are capable of giving. If it's not enough for YOU, it is then your problem..not theirs. Only you can decide to walk away or not at that point. Don't get involved with someone expecting to change them or for them to change for you. We females are notorious for this.

Whether you consider yourself religious, spiritual or a freak of nature that is on this Earth by mere coincidence of atoms colliding...the Good Book still has some common sense rules of humanity to live by. Treat others as you'd like to be treated...don't always envy what someone else has and take for granted the good things in your own life...and karma or fate or destiny (whatever you choose to call it) will indeed come full circle if you choose to tempt it too many times. Don't cry over spilt milk and don't assume that getting said milk without ever any commitment to the cow will be without consequences.

Bottom line, growing up is not for the faint of heart. Courage, responsibility and honor are not givens in your character, but developed by the way you choose to live your life and treat others.
Try not to be trivial or sleaze your way through life..make a difference where you can, while you can. Make your mark on this world instead of being like gum on the bottom of someones shoe.

If these simple common sense concepts are too much for your meager brain to handle or for your corrupt soul to fathom, then trust me...you won't have many people eager to spend time with you. Playing dumb or trying to be "cute" all the time without ever being real, wears thin quickly. Have some substance and backbone in all that you do, even during play.
Learn to make a difference.

Begin with you.

Emotionally Unavailable, Irresistible and Fabulous

Females are taught from birth, that men are supposed to be the pursuers, while women are supposed to be coy, quiet, and apprehensive. As nature has made us, women tend to be sexually selective and play hard to get, while men fight each other for the reproductive opportunities we offer them in order to make sure the species survives. Women are therefore presumed to be predestined as the picky sex and men have the role of winning them over with their worth and charm. Winning them over that is, when they're not too busy being aloof and calling the shots as to the tempo in the relationship. Well, at least that's what many biological and evolutionary theorists argue anyway. Personally, I think they might all have been dropped on their heads at birth, but that's a debate for another time.I've recently discovered another itty bitty well kept secret in the relationship wheel of fortune...a nugget of wisdom that will aid many travelers on the road not taken...the art of being Emotionally Unavailable, or EU for short.

"You should bottle this emotional unavailability thing...it's better than perfume and a mini-skirt for attracting men and getting noticed." Such was a friend's reaction to the flood of attention I received from men at one point in time, all because for a year or more, I became completely, utterly, totally emotionally unavailable (EU). The results of this emotional "scent" have been rather baffling to my friends. After all, isn't it men who are usually the emotionally unavailable gender? Aren't we females supposed to be giving THEM signals that we are interested instead of giving off an essence that we're not?

When it comes to being EU however, we're not talking about being selective or playing hard to get. (and if that's your game, know that playing hard to get DOES NOT work.) Men have equally strong opinions of the hard-to-get as they do of the easy-to-get women. Your best strategy is to play selectively hard-to-get if you really want a guy. This kind of woman is always the most popular among men if she knows how to use such strategies in a skillful way...think seduction and discretion. The thing with the emotionally unavailable woman is that she really and truly DOESN'T care if she's involved with anyone...she really has no need for a relationship at the moment and would rather focus on other things. She's either too busy, too tired, being pulled in too many directions, or has recently been too emotionally burnt or scarred to have the desire to play or engage in any games, pursuit, or selection process.

The irony of all this becomes, when a woman is truly emotionally unavailable, the men start dropping like flies. In a lot of ways, this woman is now his dream girl. Amongst the flock of women throwing themselves at him, not only does she present a challenge (something men love), but she also offers no threat of things getting too emotional or heavy any time too soon. Furthermore, she's not frigid, mean, or impossible to get along with due to mood swings, she just doesn't care where things go or what happens..she's politely detached. She has no agenda, no mission to get a ring on her finger, no vision of him meeting her parents, no plans to start popping out babies anytime soon, if ever... you get the picture.

So how does one become emotionally unavailable? While there are tons of ways to become "EU," I thought I'd start with the Top 5 suggestions for achieving your goal:

1. Stay busy, maintaining a jam-packed schedule. If you don't have the time to think about relationships, then they can't become a priority and you are less likely to stress over your status. This will make you less likely to respond to his email or return his phone call, at least any time soon. Ultimately, you'll stay on his radar longer because you're not giving him your full attention from the get-go and are in the driver's seat in whether or not things will happen.

2. Travel, a lot if possible. People who are always on the road (or in the air) have difficulty maintaining any kind of relationship. The fact that you're always out of town will excuse you from not being overly attentive to a beau, but not rule out any potential. You just don't have the time to get serious right now, literally. You avoid dealing him an ego bruise, which will keep the door open. This tip will also make it easier to avoid even starting a relationship in the first place, if that is what makes things easier.

3. Go on a relationship hiatus. Make a pledge to yourself that for the next "X" weeks or months, you will only be involved with yourself, taking the time to do everything you've been wanting to do to better yourself, take care of yourself, and love yourself. This will help you deflect any eager beaver attempts on his part until you're ready for them, upping the anticipation for him. This may be lonely, especially in the dark hours of the night when your mind has time to think..but in the long run will do a lot of good if you decide to come out of hiatus. You'll be more prepared to start something new with no residual baggage.

4. Throw yourself into a long-term project. Choose to write a book or screenplay, plot world domination, move or redecorate your house, do something which will demand 99% of your attention and focus. When you finally DO make the time to surface for some fun, make sure your friends get first dibs on your remaining 1%. Any males can join your posse in tow if they're up for it. It's the only way you can "squeeze" him in.

5. Look dynamite whenever you go out. If you're giving off the aura that you could care less if you meet somebody, men will be even more intrigued that you're all dolled up, but for whom? What purpose does this serve, he will wonder. What does this woman have going on that I need to know about? An air of mystery is always sexy and alluring...and the best part is, you could really care less at this point. You're not playing hard to get, you ARE hard to get. It's more alluring than any other lure you can imagine.


Of course, being emotionally unavailable "should" only happen for random periods of time in a perfect world. For some of us, it's permanent after a while if we keep up the shields for too long. You have to realize that at some point if you want to not be alone, you will have to emerge from the self-imposed hiatus and take a chance on life and love again. After a while, you'll have so many men falling at your feet that you'll be forced to begin to entertain the thought of getting involved with at least one of them a little more seriously. In the meantime, see being EU as a way to focus on yourself, tend to the non-relationship needs in your life, and as a means to let guys come after you. You may be surprised by the end result.

The Good, The Sad and the Pissy

10 THINGS THAT ROYALLY PISS ME OFF

1. People online that only send those lazy mass messages to everyone on their friend's list, thinking that somehow "counts" as conversation or is appealing to be included in a mass cattle call with a generic message. One observation, the gender that does this the most is the male. Heaven forbid you actually send real messages to a specific person, rather than seeing who you might get to "bite" on the impersonal ones. At least if you choose to do that, have the sense to check the box to hide everyone else's name from each other. *rolling my eyes*

2. When friends are hurt or played by others using pretty words to get what they want from them, then the player moves on to the next person without any thought of the pain or doubt they've caused along the way.

3. Paying over 100 dollars a month for Cable or Satellite TV, and still not have anything to watch on hundreds of channels other than reruns of movies made back in the 80's that weren't very good to begin with.

4. People that don't even start to write their check or get their 1000's of coupons ready while in a long line...then stand there asking millions of stupid questions that should be common sense or make the poor bagboys go run endless price checks over a penny difference in price.

5. Drivers who stay in the wrong lane deliberately in hopes of getting a couple of cars ahead in traffic, then will sit and block BOTH lanes in an effort to force themselves into the lane they should have stayed in to begin with.

6. People that ask on your birthday...well, how does it feel to be "X" years older? Ummmm...about the same as it did this time yesterday.

7. Trying to get into just about ANY product these days without slashing a vein in the process from the packaging. When I have to haul out screwdrivers, wire cutters and other assorted power tools to get into things I've bought, it's a tad frustrating. Add to that, when I DO get into said purchase, I have to HUNT to find the instructions in ENGLISH. (do NOT even get me started on this..Can we say English IS our national language, learn it or leave?) Oh, and even when you've paid for something and you STILL set off the alarms leaving the store.

8. Having to show my ID, birth certificate, first born AND provide a DNA sample so I can buy decongestant so my nose doesn't run during a cold or allergy season. Heaven forbid, I try to take advantage of the sale price and buy TWO boxes within a week!! Lord knows, that is grounds to be fingerprinted and hauled off to jail!

9. Those little stickers they put on fruit and veggies. Trying to peel those suckers off is at times like trying to pry off something they've welded in place. I have an idea...how about the cashiers actually learn what the produce looks like?

10. Adults, who in middle age, still can't manage to handle a new relationship or full of passion with any common sense and without taking into account their partner's feelings. Ones that close off and take the easy route over taking a chance just because someone will challenge and make them grow, rather than stay in a rut that was unsatisfying in many ways for many years. Not even giving someone a true chance to see what might happen.

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10 THINGS THAT MAKE ME SAD

1. Goodbyes. Not the ones where you know you'll see or hear from that person again...but the ones that are final. (I'm not great at the temporary ones either, I'm too soft-hearted...but can handle those)

2. Seeing an unloved or neglected child. Some children live in big houses with everything they want...but attention and/or love from their parents.

3. Being lied to when I've let someone close. While I'm friendly, open and outspoken to just about everyone I meet...there are few that I truly trust completely enough with my entire being. If and when I take the time to let someone in and they turn their back or ignore out of fear of change all the things shared...it hurts and makes me withdraw inside myself again. Each time a little more of me dies and a little more of my faith in possibilities is gone. I become more closed off and jaded.

4. Seeing someone with an illness from which there is no cure. Bad things do indeed happen to good people at times and there is no rhyme or reason. Along with the sadness and frustration at not being able to "fix" it, is usually also such wonder and respect for the grace and charm and courage of those that live with the physical challenges and pain.

5. Lack of physical contact with someone special. No, not only sex...but that connection with someone that is not only your lover to laugh and joke with...but the connection with a best friend that literally knows you inside out and not being able to share that affection and intimacy of spirit anymore...passionate promises that don't have to have intent, but are merely to show love.

6. If my children are struggling or hurting...emotionally or physically. There is nothing worse than standing by and knowing you have to let them make their own mistakes and learn some lessons on their own, and seeing the pain that some of their choices can cause.

7. Cruelty just for the sake of meanness. There are an increasing number of people in the world that are out for number one and don't care what they have to do or who they have to hurt to get what they want. There has been a fair amount of this happening online lately.

8. Not having the time or means at times to do some of the things important to me or that I want immediately when I want them. I'm comfortable...have all the things I really need though...so this is mostly impatience or frustration. The sad passes quickly. Waiting builds character and things usually work out as they should...good or bad. Sometimes when I do get what I want, and then I wish I hadn't!

9. Lack of manners or class. Today's world is losing a vital component to life. Being polite or helping someone is becoming a lost art. Everyone is in such a hurry that it's easier to be inconsiderate and out for number one, than to take the time to smile and perhaps make someone else's day....to give a compliment for work well done or hold a door open. Manners and class are NOT dependant on income, they are dependant on being a good human being and having a heart and soul...on good upbringing. I know many people with wealth that have no soul or class, and many that struggle through life working more than one job that are a step above us all in the way they live their life.

10. Too much Political Correctness and the inability to accept responsibility for our own actions or just ignore what bugs you. We are not doing our society any favors by raising a generation of children that cannot just turn the other cheek without retaliation or retribution, even for the smallest offenses. We are quickly becoming a society of people that cannot or will not turn the other cheek or just simply let something pass without argument.

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Okay...NOW on to my Happy Things...

10 THINGS THAT MAKE ME SMILE, LAUGH, FEEL SUNSHINE IN MY SOUL...AND HAPPY

1. My family. Hands down, no question...number one. Growing up, I always KNEW I wanted to be a Mom. I never cared about a career, didn't need success or acclaim to validate me...I did know I needed and wanted children....and I got three great ones. Now granted, they make me nuts at times...but I NEVER wish my life had taken a different turn in this area. My family also includes my parents and sister and now her family. THEY are all the most important thing in my life and the ONLY thing I couldn't exist without.

2. Teaching. I adore making a difference in children's lives...and know that I do make that difference each and every day I'm in the classroom. When a child's face lights up even after you've taken 5 minutes away of their play time the day before, JUST to see you in the hall and they run up to hug you...you know you've done something right. To hear a child read a sentence or sound out a word for the first time and KNOW you turned that light bulb on...it's priceless.

3. Unexpected Friends. I've always been a bit of a loner. I love to have friends, but am also comfortable on my own if need be. As I said above, I don't let people close to me lightly or quickly...let people see me totally uncensored and unrestricted...but the past year I have found a several people that have surprised me and made my spirit smile. Some are on here, some at school...and all are very special and now my friends. I look forward to more unexpected surprises.

4. Life. It's amazing really...just the act of being alive...it's such a precious gift, each second is priceless. So many take it for granted as if it's guaranteed to each of us. It's not...and if you waste any of it...don't experience each and everything you can...the good and the bad, you haven't really lived.

5. Learning in any form. I crave knowledge and learning new things each day just makes me happy. It means that you're still growing and not merely existing and taking up space.

6. Naps. This is a new one in the past 2 or 3 years. I've finally come to appreciate the beauty of a good nap. I don't sleep well at night (I think because I don't like sleeping alone and can't turn my brain off), so a good nap is sometimes needed to recharge me for the rest of the day. Now...I'd prefer a SHARED naptime...even if it meant a lot less sleep..but then I'd REALLY be smiling!

7. A hot tub on the deck of an isolated cabin in the mountains with a great view. Spending a lazy week or weekend with no plans (and possibly no clothes), but plenty available to do if wanted...then retreating back to a private paradise. The Pigeon Forge/Wears Valley area up in TN is one of my favorite places in the world...along with the North Georgia mountains. It's been too long since I got away for a few days.

8. Summertime and all it entails. Fresh strawberries and whipped cream. Tomato sandwiches made with homegrown 'maters from my garden. Late nights and late mornings. Laying out in the pool under the stars. No schedule to speak of on many days.

9. Making someone smile that wasn't smiling when I first see them. Many of my long time friends on here have heard me say this before...I love to take the time to share a smile with people that I will never see again. To take the time to ask how their day is or how they are and really LISTEN to their answer and let them know I actually want to hear. To take the extra minute or two to give a compliment when someone has done a good job or been helpful. To listen to a child that no one else is even noticing and make them feel important. I will even track down managers in stores or restaurants if someone has really touched me with something they've done or their attitude. It costs nothing but my time, but means so much.

10. A song on the radio that brings back memories. To suddenly hear a song that takes you back to a time in your life, fun or painful...and you find yourself right back in the moment...the emotions, the feel, even the sights, smell or sounds. To hear a new song that you KNOW is going to be one of those future important songs that marks a time in your life one day and makes you feel alive and want to sing and dance along...although this can bring on sadness as well.

Where Are The Hair Clippers & Duct Tape When We Need Them?

Where Are The Hair Clippers & Duct Tape When We Need Them?

I was just watching an interview with the morons that closed down Boston yesterday. I'm using the word "morons" generously as I watch them "perform" for the cameras. They are flip, disrespectful and totally unrepentant that their idiocy put an entire city's emergency resources on high alert for the entire day...not to mention inconvienced and put in danger all the daily commuters as highways, mass transit and waterways were completely shut down. Trust me, the one with the dreadlocks better thank his lucky stars that I'm not his Mom..of course if I WERE his Mother, he wouldn't have gotten to this point and be so extreme in his actions, thoughts or looks. Heck, I threaten to cut my son's hair while he sleeps if he doesn't get regular haircuts that make him at least look human. Self-expression is one thing, while being totally irresponsible and looking like a throw rug, is another.

(If you missed their "perfomance", here is a link to the video...Click Here)

WHAT is wrong with some of the youth today? These are the people we are going to have to count on one day to keep us safe, to run our country. Now admittedly, some of our contemporaries at times drop the ball, BUT they often err on the side of trying to be too responsible, to do too much rather than doing nothing at all and leaving everything to fate and a Ouija board/Magic 8 ball.

I have great respect and hope for a lot of our youth. I see so many bright minds, so much potential in many bright faces going through the school systems. On the other hand however, I also see way too many that have absolutely no direction in life...no respect for anything or anyone. I grew up in the 60's and 70's so I know that many of our generation that began their lives as flower children or in a different era managed to pull it all together and grow into adults with purpose. What I'm seeing from a lot of young people today, is not the same. The world today is regrettably different. It's a more serious place..it's truthfully a meaner and more intense place. The dangers in the world today are more widespread and more focused.

I watched the events yesterday develop through the hours at a time in our lives where we have to be more vigilant for our safety, for the safety of our loved ones...and even though it started to unfold as someone thumbing their nose at the system....it still could not be ignored. The statement that we have to be right all the time, while a potential terrorist only has to be right once, is so true. I wish to holy hell it wasn't, but those are the cards we have been dealt and there is no going back. I'm sure that wrecks with injuries had to wait much longer for a response time as well as other valid 911 calls for people in need as the city was for the most part shutdown in the name of caution while safety was guaranteed in what turned out to thankfully be numerous cases of hoax and pretense.

Perhaps I'm a little more sensitive than most to some of this. Between being in the classroom and the training I've had to receive over the past few years to be in the air (and frankly courage somedays to board some of the planes), I will admit I have almost ZERO patience for pranks or flippancy where safety is concerned. I realized this morning that in some ways I'm turning into my parents, and at the same time also realized, I'm thanking my lucky stars they instilled a lot of this in me. The old fashioned qualities of responsibility, of country and self...all qualities I've tried to make sure that my children have. My children are far from perfect. They have mouths and opinions (and have inherited those qualities honestly from me)...BUT they have a love of country...a love of family...and manners and respect at their core, where it matters and will emerge fully one day.

So, these boys need to be put under a jail...not be on TV getting their 15 minutes of fame acting like fools. What they did was serious and dangerous, not to mention stupid and totally irresponsible. The youth of today needs to realize they have the complete and total freedom to act or say what they want...as long as they also accept the knowledge that by doing so, there are consequences...sometimes very severe ones that are not able to be wiggled out of by being cute and flip. Life carries responsibility for yourself and for others. It is not a world where the only one your actions impact is your own life. Life is like ripples in a pond...something small radiates out from the middle and sometimes, depending on the initial impact...can have a major effect in what occurs in the end.

On a day where a veteran from the Iraqi war that lost both legs is being recognized for his service and given a chance to run his own business due the the good heart of the Little Caesar's founder...this drivel takes over the news. Our priorities have gone to to hell in a handbasket.